It the Unbeliever's turn to use this thread. [Archive]

Tom B.

11-16-2007, 04:49 AM

Unbelievable. I guess it's my turn. Didn't get much sleep last night. I'm going in for a minor surgury today and, thou it's no big deal, I'm nervous. It's more a needle and knife thing than anything else but that is all small in the light of the new's I got last night.

My Mother called and wanted my wife and I to join them for dinner tonight. I could tell something was wrong and wanted to fulfill her request but I have this stupid surgury appointment that I really can't cancel. She went on to sob over the phone that she has a lump on her neck that the doctors think might be cancerous...sigh. She's having tests on it Monday.

Of coarse if that wasn't enough...they had just gotten home from my Dad's Cancer doctor and his Mylanoma has become active again too...sigh.

With the stress of my own surgury today and all the bad news this is almost more than I can bear... I Find myself full of regrets, wishing I could have had a better relationship with my parents. I won't go into the details but...it seems, like so many other things in life, I'm too late once again...

Ah, well. May the good Lord do as he needs to do...

sherob

11-16-2007, 04:58 AM

Tom... I can imagine what you are going thru, I know I have alot on my plate right now... and I always think there isn't much more room on that plate when another serving of something gets put on it :rolleyes:

I'll keep you in my prayers and wish you and yours the best ;)

H20SKIER

11-16-2007, 05:26 AM

We'll be thinking about you , just remember as bad as it seems, it could always be much worse!

BigTom

11-16-2007, 05:49 AM

Hang in there, Tom. You just do the next available right thing, and pretty soon you are through. God NEVER gives us more than we can handle. Sometimes streches our limits, but never more.

johnSTamela

11-16-2007, 06:27 AM

Sorry to hear Tom. Hang in there. Good luck with your surgery and hope the best for your parents.

jasonJonas

11-16-2007, 06:29 AM

prayers all the way around, tom. while a lot of time has passed and lives have changed this way or that, it's never too late to start/rekindle a relationship - even with your parents. they're still around so don't let your regret fester until it's too late.

Elmo

11-16-2007, 07:17 AM

Ah, well. May the good Lord do as he needs to do...

...that, my friend, tells me that you acknowledge that it's all in God's hands. That speaks volumes to me and He will honor that! May you experience the peace that passes all understanding that many of us have experienced before.

May God bless and keep you and your family.

Elmo

sirepair

11-16-2007, 07:20 AM

Tom,
There is some Good News in that all of us here are praying for you! Hang in there, man! This too shall pass....

Mark

11-16-2007, 07:26 AM

Tom,

Good luck with the minor surgery (I agree the 'minor' only counts to the medical profession!).
You and yours are in our prayers.

Mark

uptoblackwood

11-16-2007, 07:27 AM

Ten years ago....I went through a similar period. Wife with breast cancer, best friend with terminal cervical cancer, Mom with the rare mantle cell lymphoma and my Dad fighting what was to be the end of a battle with congestive heart failure. All of these things were difficult to deal with...but I did. Some days good and some tough.

Hang in there and do what good you can each day. Good luck today!

Forest

NCrider

11-16-2007, 07:48 AM

Prayers said.

It's not too late while they are still alive. Start with what you have and build from there even if it's nothing. You won't be sorry.

Peace be with you and yours.

Austin city limits

11-16-2007, 08:04 AM

Prayers are inbound to you Tom...

Never to late to change a relationship until they are no longer here... I know what you are going through,,, and it Sucks... But,,, think of it this way...

Your Mom and Dad could have been killed in a car wreck years ago... You would have never had the chance to make things right like you do now,,, and they would just be a memory,,, not a living breathing thing...

I remember when my Dad had his first Heart Attack and I was almost angry... Then,,, later realized it was like God giving me a warning that,,, He was not going to be here for ever... He lived another 18 years... I had every chance to make sure I made things right between us...

My mom has been slipping fairly fast lately... Again,,, 20 years ago she could have died and all I would have is a memory,,, and many regrets...

I REALLY do try and live my life everyday,,, just as this says...

Live Every Moment,,, Love Everyday Because,,, Before You Know it,,, Your Precious Time Slips Away...

ToroGuy

11-16-2007, 08:05 AM

Tom,

I'm praying believing your day surgery will be no big deal. Your Mom and Dad and your relationship with them will continue to be in my prayers. NCrider got it right...make the best of the time your have with your parents. You will not regret it.

lorenzell

11-16-2007, 08:12 AM

I am by nature a skeptic. However, I became a Lutheran (LCMS) pastor after I became convinced that the Bible is the revelation of the one and only True God. God is love. Jesus Christ, God born in the flesh proved this when he came to pay for man's sins through death on the cross. He rose again to prove that he had overcome sin death and the grave. The beauty of this is that he offers the gift of eternal life and resurrection from the dead to all, no matter what they have done, to all who believe and follow Him.

Maybe its time to believe. After all, does it make sense that the God of this world would leave us all to guess about what is truth? The Bible, if studied gives plenty of its own self verification that it is the Word of Eternal Life.

LZ

Have a great ride today.

UNTMatt

11-16-2007, 08:22 AM

Prayers have been sent for you and your family from our family.

beatlejuice

11-16-2007, 08:41 AM

tough times. but you will get through it. i too had, shall we say a struggle with my folks but its never too late to spend time with them. it might be a little hard in some ways but its usualy the best thing to do no matter the past. prayers to you and your family. all the best.

John Anthony

11-16-2007, 08:49 AM

Hi, Tom

Sorry to hear the news, but Maggie and I will keep you and your family in our prayers. Special strength to your wife to help her give you comfort during these trying times. I agree with Mark that minor surgery is only minor in the mind of those performing the surgery.

John

dmulk

11-16-2007, 09:03 AM

Hey man,

Hang in there!

<D>

killerST6

11-16-2007, 11:38 AM

I wish your procedure and your moms test to be quick and good news.

therider

11-16-2007, 11:41 AM

Hang in there, Tom. All tough times eventually pass. I hope things will fall in place soon. Good luck with the surgery.

S2000-Dave

11-16-2007, 11:59 AM

I lost 6 good friends last year in 06'. Two were killed on duty (Police) My Wife, and sister in law died from cancer. As bad as it seems, life goes on. I'm still greiving and will do so maybe even for the rest of my life. Losing someone your close to, or the possibility of losing someone close to you is devastateing. Putting the pain behind you does not mean your forgetting the person, it's part of the process. My prayers go out to you and your family. The next few months will be hard, it's not being tough that gets us through these things, but love. Just be there for your mom and dad, hold their hands and tell them that you love them. As simple as it may sound, thats all they want and need from those that they love. Dave

STBNE

11-16-2007, 12:12 PM

Tom;
My thoughts and prayers to you and your family.Cancers are survivable these days ofc depending on what types.As others have said...its not too late as long as they are alive.We all have these moments in our lives and as unfortunate as they may be they are a part of life.It is still a sad time but with the grace of god and some luck,it may just turn out to be ok.That is my sincere hope.I have had my share of misfortune this past year with the loss of my Mom and my oldest Brother.It is still not easy...but it feels a little better with each day.

Tom B.

11-16-2007, 12:21 PM

Well, Unbelievable!:hat1:

Thank you everyone for the kindness that you have extended to me!! Surgury is in a couple of hours but I'm doing fine with that. ALl your kindness reminds me that often we don't really have it all that bad. A good friend of mine lost 3 of her brothers to completely different circumstances in less than 2 weeks. She even saw one brother at one of the funerals and the other at the 1st two. Thank God she has a good husband (whom I met her thru) and a remaining brother!! Tough though for all of us as I knew them too.

Keeping the chin up! Dad will most likely kick the cancers bum as he did when he 1st discovered it! The meds and his will put it in remission in a record 6 months, unheard of for someone his age! Drugs seem to work very well for him so I'm sure he'll give us a repeat performance. This time he'll just have to keep on taking the meds for the rest of his life. Mom...well, she's just an emotional bundle right now but I'm betting she'll be ok too. In other words, praying that the tests show negative for cancer. We'll know in about a week.

Thanks again everyone! What a great community this is! You all deserve a metal of honor for thinking of me and my family! Oh! My wive deserves a GOLD medal too as she's been the greatest during these trying times! God really knew what he was doing when he paired us up!!!:bow1:

Everyone take care and have a great day! I'm off to lunch:clap2: and then the doc's office!:o4: Some of you will know what I'm going for when I say this but...hope I don't have to pee....:rolleyes:

PS: to those of you whom are still grieving you own losses, you have my prayers too!!!

BigTom

11-16-2007, 12:29 PM

Quote by Unbeliever
hope I don't have to pee....

Ahhhhh. Now I understand why you didn't get the coffee thread going:)

stonecarver

11-16-2007, 06:31 PM

Well Tom I guess you've had your surgery by now. I'll be praying for you.

Brian

DAS

11-16-2007, 07:21 PM

Tom, get well soon and my prayers for your folks. +1 on Elmo's comment. Too bad its a rough road that makes us serious about our faith - but good thing the Lord is there when we finally decide to need him most. Now get well - and don't laugh to much if it hurts.

b.carez

11-16-2007, 09:36 PM

Hang in there Tom. I hope everything works out OK. Heal up fast.

Saywhen1

11-17-2007, 04:30 AM

Unbeliever
Hi, been praying for you while reading this touching thread. Takes a real man to say what you've said on here. Isn't funny how life (time) changes the way a man feels.

Get well soon friend, God Bless, Corky

Papa

11-17-2007, 05:47 AM

I just found this thread and thought you were gonna do coffee. I hope your surgery goes well Tom, keep us posted when you can. Like others have said, it's never too late to make amends if that's possible. We don't know your situation with your relationships, but hopefully you can resolve it in your heart to find peace within yourself. All we can do is clean our side of the street. Prayers for you and yours Tom.

hojo in sc

11-17-2007, 08:27 AM

You and your family is on my prayer list, hope all turns out well.

Tom B.

11-18-2007, 09:33 AM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

Surgury went well,only 20 minutes and the Doc was quite nice. Didn't post yesterday cause I was just too emotionally worn out! Anyway, gotta stay quite and...ulp...:o4: ...no shower for 48 hours and I'm counting the minutes! My wife has been fantastic and even my kids are helping out when I need something. Frozen peas and lima beans have become my friends too!!! Not looking forward to work tomorrow. I do a lot of lifting and I'm sure I'll not get any help! With the selfish juvenile delinquents that I work with it's going to be a problem...maybe I'll just walk out! Probably not but I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens. Won't be fun. I just don't understand the lack of team work!

Talked with my folks! Mom was supposed to have the lump on her neck looked at tomorrow but the secretary at the specialists office schedualled her with the wrong doctor! Gotta wonder about the competance there now!!! So now she has to wait until December 10th. She's bummed about that. Dad is in better spirits since he knows that his temper flares have been related to how his body is fighting his cancer! Odd how an answer, even bad news, can improve a persons attitude. Gives him something real to fight and a place to direct his anger. I'm just happy that they seem to be coping fairly well.

Now, I have to say thank you to everyone who has posted here!:clap2: Honestly, I don't know what to say! The wonderful supportive responses have been overwhelming! They have brought both tears and joy to my soul and filled me with strength! I thank you one and all for your prayers and spititual support! I couldn't ask for a better crowd to stand up for me as we do for so many others as well! You are all the best! Now I really need to make some of the event's in the up coming years so that I can meet you all and (if I can remember all who posted here) thank you for your kindness in person! Thanks again!!!:hat1:

(Now where did I put those frozen peas....)

Papa

11-18-2007, 11:06 AM

LIMA BEANS? MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :eat2:

S2000-Dave

11-18-2007, 11:15 AM

Good news! I hated dealing with Kaiser med staff. They were, for the most part-bitc##s, the Doctors were very nice tho. Glad to hear your on the mend, and my prayers go out to your family. Stay strong. Dave

John Anthony

11-18-2007, 12:00 PM

Tom,

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear your surgery went well. Maybe your co-workers will surprize you tomorrow. And then maybe Hell will freeze over as well. Sorry to hear about the miscues with your mom's scheduling. I'm sure that only added to everyone's stress.

Maggie and I are keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers. Keep that positive attitude and humor. Both are infectious.

John

Kelly Cox

11-18-2007, 12:46 PM

Hang in there Tom. I'm going through some things too (including a surgery)...my wife reminded me tonight that God says he'll not give us more than we can handle (tough to believe, but that's why they call it "faith"). As far as your relationship with your parents, as long as they're alive, it's not too late.

Mellow

11-18-2007, 03:45 PM

Sorry I got in late on this, but glad it has been fully addresses....

Glad your surgery went well.

Elmo

11-18-2007, 06:42 PM

Great to hear from you, Tom!

Nothing ever takes God by surprise! May He continue to provide strength and comfort for you and your family.

Elmo

Tom B.

11-22-2007, 06:23 PM

Unbelievable!:(

Well, the day is done and I had a great time today! Everyone had a fantastic time (My wife, son, daughter, mother & father-in-law, my sister and her husband and my folks!) There was an extraordinary amount of love flowing today and I was acutely aware of my loved ones. I soaked up as much of them as I could! The food was fantastic too! Everyone had to be rolled to their cars after all that food!! LOL!

Still there was a cloud hanging over my day! Dad went for a total body scan and bone marrow tap yesterday! As soon as Dad arrived he told me about his condition. It appears that he has some real bone damage now and he has to take 3 drugs, the most expensive of which costs $7000.00 a month. To make matters worse his health insurance will not pay for this drug. He has an appointment Monday @ the V.A. hospital. Most likely, once they confirm his condition, they will pay all but about $15.00 - $20.00 a month. I'm praying about that!

His doctor said that he was surprised how advanced his cancer was. Not sure what will happen from here. He did, on a positive note, take mom on as a patient as well! That's good since the both like him and I have to say: He's GOOD! The bad is that the doctor told dad that he is now beginning to suffer mild amounts of brain and nerve damage from the cancer which it not reversible. We also (Mom and Dad were so shaken they forgot to ask) don't know if his bones will heal up if the cancer goes back into remission. Dad was also told not to lift ANYTHING! Now that he's showing bone damage, he will begin to break bones if he over stresses them.

Well, Dad is a trooper and was quite strong today, laughing and smiling a lot!!! However, (involuntary tears here :cry: ) after everyone left today (Mom and Dad were the last to leave) I felt an impending doom that this will be our last Christmas with Dad. And I was just trying to figure out what to get him for Christmas! I have no clue....:( Guess I'm just being over emotional but best I get over it now so I can be strong when that end finally comes!

Well, that's it in a nut shell! I just have to pray that God will help him kick this things a** and stay with us a while longer! I want every single one of you to know that all your prayers and support has been incredibly lifting and helpful! Thank you one and all!

I'll post updates as I get them! Thanks for reading and giving me a place of solace!:bow1:

Mellow

11-22-2007, 06:26 PM

That sux Tom... stay strong for your Dad and keep us posted. You've got some prayers for him going out now.

motomac

11-22-2007, 06:38 PM

Tom, I feel so bad that you have been so supportive of Gail and I through all this and I just opened this thread for the first time. I assure you more prayers will be coming on you and your family's behalf from Gail and I. Cherish all the time you have with your Dad while you still can. I lost mine in '88 and still miss him.

STill Fiddlin

11-22-2007, 06:51 PM

Tom, glad to hear you have some upsides to deal with the downsides right now.

Besides prayers for healing and strength, I'll offer this - If there's anything you want to talk to your parents about, right now is the time to do it. The best gift any parent can have, of course, is just to have his kids around, with past hurts and troubles dealt with, forgiven, forgotten, whatever. The end is never easy, but it's far easier afterwards if there's no regrets about things said or left unsaid.

Elmo

11-22-2007, 07:53 PM

Tom,

One day, we will all have our last Thanksgiving, last Christmas, etc...'cept most of us won't know it at the time. I have a cell phone that has the following message (as a reminder to me) whenever I turn it on. It says:

"Got another day...make it count!"

From your post, I'd say even with all the bad things, that this was truly one of the best "get-togethers" that you all have had in a long time, maybe ever! I could just feel all the love that you all have for one another. I appreciate you sharing with us...it will help me not to take so much for granted.

You have a whole heck of a lot of people here praying on your behalf and you can bet that includes me! I pray that God will wrap all of you in His loving arms.

Peace in His Name,

Elmo

kksine

11-22-2007, 08:03 PM

Hey Tom, I just read the posts today so I would have posted earlier. Just wanted to let you know there is someone else out there praying for you. Jesus said "Come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest". I don't know where you are in your faith, but I would say continue to pray and let God take control of the rest. I do work in the cancer field so I have an idea of what your going through and the roller coaster of emotions your going through. My prayers will be with you and your parents

2dogs

11-22-2007, 08:12 PM

Tom,
Prayers help,
you and your family are in mine.

believe it.

Dave

Tom B.

11-22-2007, 09:26 PM

Unbelievable!:sun1:

As I was sitting here re-reading old posts and the new alike, I couldn't help but reflect on how God guides us if we let him. When my Grandma (my moms side) past it was a serious blow to our family. She was that Grandma who truly worshiped and believed in our Father above. Never have I known a person who held God & Jesus in such high regard as she. As a little boy, I learned early that my Dad's family were...well...let's just say down right mean. Dad (I know this may sound bias but it truly isn't) was a real white sheep among many black ones where his family was concerned. I could never figure out why as Dad was such a good son and brother! Well, I won't go there...as I was saying, even my Mom's dad was a son of a B. The things my Mom's dad did during his life would curl your toes and Grandma had to live through it. Her faith never wavered. At least not that I could see. As a family tradition, every Sunday after church we would visit my Mom's folks "out on the farm" and even after Mom's dad passed we never failed to miss those visits with Grandma. I couldn't tell you how many times we'd show up and Grandma would be sound asleep on the couch with her bible open to the page she'd been reading, laying on her lap!:-D That left a lasting impression on me!!!:bow1:

As life would have it Grandma became my Mom's best friend! She lived to be 91 when she had a heart attack and left us. She often laughed that God had a great sense of humor! Well, he pulled a good one on my Grandma! I can just picture her looking down from heaven at her old body and, red faced with embarrassment, laughing and saying "Oh for heavens sake!" God took her while she was on the toilet!:rolleyes:

The irony here was that over the last couple of weeks she'd been telling Mom in a rather gentle, round about way, that she was ready to go. It wasn't too long after Mom mentioned that to me that God did take her. Christmas that year was very bittersweet. Christmas was on a Saturday and she died the Saturday before! I told Mom that Grandma got the best Christmas gift of all of us! She got to spend it with her Heavenly Father!!! That helped all of us to think of it that way!! That is the condensed version but in part because of her faith, mine is also very strong!

Proof of God's handy work? When I asked my wife and best friend to marry me I just picked a day out of thin air and made it special for Cindy! Took her too a little secluded lake in the Indiana Yellow wood State Forest! When we got there, just like a miracle all the other cars just left leaving us in total solitude for the special moment that was about to take place! (God) The sun came through the clouds and danced like diamonds on the surface of the lake while I proposed! (God) Then, best for last, we called my folks and announced the good news! My folks laughed over the phone! It was their anniversary!!! I had totally forgotten!:doh1: They never thought a thing about my forgetting their anniversary! They have been great parents all in all! (God) To bad Grandma was already gone! She would have whooped!!! The tale goes on! We set a date for our wedding and then when we told my folks the date, Mom cried! See, we picked the same day as my Grandma got married and as well as her mom and dad (my Great Grandparents)! (God!)

Go figure! Well this is way long so I need to add a point and let you all go. While I may have accidentally painted a bad picture of my relationship with my parents, let me say that while we argue and push each others buttons all the time, we still love each other! I'm just regretting not taking more time for them! See, once I grew up and went out on my own, I selfishly didn't spend enough time with my Grandma! Lost a lot for that and I know it too!! Maybe it's just the emotional tide right now but I'm feeling as if I've done the same with my Dad and Mom too for that matter. Sometimes it feels like more than I can bear to swallow some of their..well, crap for lack of better words!

Well, God willing, I better get busy and start making up for lost time no matter what!!

Sorry for the long read and thank you for allowing me a place to vent! I'll be praying long and hard tonight but I won't forget the members of this site! I believe that perhaps God led me here to this fantastic community for more than just the motorcycles! I think he knew I needed all the support I can get for the up coming trials and what a great place to get that support!

Hope you all had a great Thanks Giving!:clap2:

Papa

11-23-2007, 05:36 AM

Summer, 1995, I bought a new GMC. Late August, I had contemplated taking my eleven year old son and going to see my Dad 500 miles away for Labor Day weekend, to let him spend some time with his only grandchild and flap our gums about my new truck. At the last minute, I decided to accept an offer to go fishing with my best friend. When we got home from fishing Saturday, I was informed that my Dad had died that morning.

Someone finally told me something that really helped. They said, had my Dad lived across the street, I would have still beat myself up (guilt) because I may have not visited him the night before, the day, week,, whatever, before. I guess the point is, we all have our lives to live, responsibilities, and decisions to make. I cannot look back in regret at things I cannot change. Take it easy on yourself Tom. We're all just human.

Elmo

11-23-2007, 11:19 AM

George

11-23-2007, 01:32 PM

Tom, good wishes and prayers from the Catt family.

Tom B.

11-28-2007, 02:32 PM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

Well, I talked to Dad and Mom about Dad's visit to the VA Hospital! They got there ahead of time and signed in, or so they thought. Told my folks they would have to fill out financial forms. Mom said they had but the secretary said that they needed new ones every year! Mom said it would've been nice to know that before they drove all the way to Fort Wayne! Anyway, after that farce, Dad got to go early for his lab stuff and came back to await the doctor visit @ 2:40 pm. About 4:00 pm Dad is real ticked so he (according to mom) STOMPED into the doctors office where the nurse told him that he hadn't signed in! I guess he let'em have it and they squeezed him in and did the rest of the exam without the doctor! Put his cancer killing meds a day behind because the doctor has to read the exam results and sign for the subscription but he'd already left for the day! Put Mom into tears! Then today they get a call and the meds didn't get signed for until this morning so the drugs he needs won't be here until Saturday when they should have been to him today!

Oh, well. At least they aren't as upset about it as they were Tuesday! Mom and Dad have another oncologist appointment with their local doctor tomorrow so we'll soon learn what Mom's fate is too!

Funny how things work.:shrug2: That's all for this update and also another thank you for all your support!!!!:bow1:

Mark

11-28-2007, 02:36 PM

That pretty much su***...

Best wishes and prayers for you and yours...

Mark

motomac

11-28-2007, 03:22 PM

SupraSabre

11-28-2007, 03:31 PM

Tom,

I just saw this thread...sorry to hear about your parents. After watching my brother Dave go through what he did with Gloria, I know that stuff can really put all of those effected in for some rough times.

My prayers go to you, your parents and your family!

Tom B.

11-28-2007, 03:41 PM

And that folks is one of the biggest reasons I will not go to a doctor unless I'm carried in on a stretcher. I don't get too riled up, but sitting in a doctor's office watching the second go round and round for hours is not my idea of entertainment.

Tom, I hope your folks come out of this OK and yourself as well.

:crackup :crackup :crackup ROFLOL! Mac you make me laugh! I hear you about the clock! I couldn't help but think that, instead of hearing tic-toc, tic-toc, you hear something like: go-ride, go-ride...:clap2:

Yea my Dad is pretty patient with most folks! I just hope that his blow up didn't give him a bad rap! (I know what his blow ups are like! Whenever he's doing plumping, I get the heck out of Dodge!!:rolleyes: ) At least he got to finish his appointment!:-D

Finewest

11-30-2007, 07:29 PM

Sorry I'm late on this one Tom... You got my best hopes and well wishes to you and your family!

Tom B.

12-10-2007, 07:38 AM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

Well, Dad is finally on all the :rx1: his Doctor wants him on! Won't know for a while how they are working but Dad said he'd never been high before!:rolleyes: The meds have some funny side effects (less than his old ones thank God!:bow1: ) in that they keep him awake for 24 - 48 hours, then he sleeps like a baby for almost a whole day!:doh1: It was funny, his doctor said that would happen but the first time he took it he slept better than he had for a couple of weeks instead of it keeping him awake.:crackup It was probably all the stress from just learning that his cancer had come back and all the testing and stuff having worn him out!:sick1: Now the waiting game begins! At least he's feeling relieved to be doing something pro-active about the cancer.

Mom is going in to a specialist today about the inflamed lymph node in her neck. We don't have any ideal if they will take a biopsy, remove it, or just do a consultation today??? I'll have to wait till tonight to see what happened. No matter what, I'm sure that it might be a few days before we know if it is cancerous or not!

Anyway, this is the most recent news...further updates to come...

EJ's 97ST

12-10-2007, 08:24 AM

So sorry to here all this Tom.....just now seen this thread. Sharon & I sending prayers to you and your mom & dad. I know some of the feelings you are faced with, I have certainly been there, loosing my dad last year to heart failure and we just put a pace maker in mom. "Think good thoughts, this is jus' a test of resilience"........I remind myself almost daily.

Ed

Elmo

12-10-2007, 05:55 PM

Thanks for the update, Tom. You and your family continue to be in my prayers.

I have so many people around me with cancer...sure glad I've got a God that gets me through!

Elmo

Tom B.

12-10-2007, 06:43 PM

...sure glad I've got a God that gets me through!

Elmo

Amen!
:pray1:

Tom B.

12-11-2007, 10:04 PM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

Talked to my folks today via the phone. Mom saw her doctor Monday and they are taking a lymph-node out on Friday! The doctor is confident that the en-flamed lymph-node is not cancerous but they will know for sure once tests have been run on it. She will have to stay the night in the hospital due to how late in the day her surgery is scheduled. Anyhow, while on the phone with them, I suggested I come and have lunch with them @ the hospital since they would be getting there about the time I go to lunch! Next thing I know (they have more than one :call: so I was talking to both @ the same time) they are fighting about where I ought to park!:22yikes: :doh1: SHEESH! After a while, once I could get a word in edge-wise, I suggested that I take care of where I park!:rolleyes: Unbelievable!:o4: Anyway, they realized how silly they were being and we had a good laugh.

I'll post more Friday!?

Elmo

12-12-2007, 06:06 PM

It says a lot about you all when you say you had a good laugh...don't let anything take that away.

Stay in the Faith, my friend!

Elmo

Tom B.

12-12-2007, 06:21 PM

It says a lot about you all when you say you had a good laugh...don't let anything take that away.

Stay in the Faith, my friend!

Elmo

Thanks Elmo! You are truly inspirational!!!:bow1:

Oh...almost forgot: Unbelievable!:hat1:

John Anthony

12-12-2007, 07:44 PM

Hey, Tom!

Thanks for the updates. Keep your faith, good humor and strength. A powerful combination for your parents to draw on while everything else sorts itself out.

John

MGDaversa

12-12-2007, 10:12 PM

Hey Tom,
Sometimes things are unbelievably good, other times unbelievably bad. But you've got a lot of prayers coming, including mine. That you can believe. As for the folks, if you can't go for quantity, maybe go for quality with the time you have left. Just a thought. Hang in there.
--MGD

Tom B.

12-15-2007, 09:24 PM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

Well, it was a long day today! My mom went into the hospital yesterday to have the inflamed lymph node (sp?) removed! She was in and out of surgery and recovery by 3:30 p.m. By the time my wife and I managed to visit her it was about 6:00 p.m. and she was doing pretty good but looked puffy and tired. All natural stuff for the ordeal. We missed Dad as he was exhausted and headed home before it got dark out! (His cancer drugs are really messing with his sleep patterns) The lymph node turned out to not be the problem but rather a small benign tumor (size of a robins egg) that was forming over it! They went ahead and took the lymph node too as the tumor was invading it. We were all very relieved to hear that there is no cancer!:bow1: Thank you Heavenly Father!:pray1: Mom's spirits were flying high!:plane1: She even ate almost all of her diner!:eat1: She had a swiss steak, mixed veggies, baked potato, salad w/ranch dressing, milk, coffee, apple cobbler and I can't remember what all else! Teasing I asked her why she didn't drink the coffee! She rolled her eyes and said "No way! I'd be going to the bathroom all night and I'm not doing that with this dumb I.V. cart all tangled up in the bed!" LOL!

This morning, my wife and I drove over to my folks house, picked up Dad and went to pick Mom up from the hospital! Once we were there the waiting game began! The doctor had yet to see her and release her so we just relaxed and visited. Once Mom got her lunch we stayed till she was about halfway done and we went to the cafeteria for our own lunch. Wouldn't you know it, that's when the doctor came! Once we got back to her room she was dressed and ready to rock and roll...oh, dang...the nurses still had to go over some release information and get her to sign the release form! Once that was done we had to wait another half an hour for someone to bring the wheel chair! Mom almost walked out...:crackup

Anyway, the whole ordeal wasn't too bad. There was another lady sharing the room with Mom and her husband used to work with my Dad so they made good company for each other too!

Have to say, as soon as I got home I wanted to play a song I have on my computer! Amazing Grace! It was recorded at our church and features a 12 year old girl on the violin accompanied by a pan flute and other background music! I wanted to share it with anyone here that wanted to hear it but I don't think it will fly! Can't find "WMA" in the attachments window and I think the file will be too big! Too bad the mods can't make an exception??? Ah well!

:pray1: Thank you Heavenly Father, creator of our universe, for the gifts and mercy you bestow upon us! Thank you for blessing us with so many excellent friends and family members! Thank you for helping us through the tough times and for keeping it from being more than we can handle! Please,Dear Lord, bless all those who have prayed for my family and bless those they know and love as well! I ask that you are with those who need you as we have needed you and smile warmly upon them so that they too can overcome the evils of life! Amen!:bow1:

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound.....................................

STBNE

12-15-2007, 09:47 PM

:bow1: Tom; Amen.So glad to hear some good news from this section of the forum.With all of the material gifts given at this time of the year...the greatest gift of all isnt materialistic....its the gift of of Life and the Love we share with our families.Without your loved ones all else pales in comparison...IMO..so indeed it is Amazing Grace that not only you but all of us find ourselves in, as this Christmas/Chanukah season is upon us.:D

S2000-Dave

12-15-2007, 09:53 PM

AMEN, thank you unbeliever for your prayers. I lost my wife to cancer a year ago, 25 years of love, gone. But I have remorires that will last a life time. May GOD bless you and your family. Dave

John Anthony

12-15-2007, 10:47 PM

Tom,

Thanks for sharing the terrific news. Couldn't come at a better time. We'll continue to keep your dad in our prayers.

John

Tom B.

12-16-2007, 07:06 AM

AMEN, thank you unbeliever for your prayers. I lost my wife to cancer a year ago, 25 years of love, gone. But I have remorires that will last a life time. May GOD bless you and your family. Dave

Unbelievabe!:(

Oh, Dave! I know this is about a year late but I feel for you! I've only been married 10 years this next June and I can't even fathom being without my "Lover Girl"! I pray that you are doing well and will keep you in my prayers too! After this gift of life for my Mom, my faith is even greater so I know the power of prayer and the Lords will! Thank you, also, for the kindness and your prayers too!

MGDaversa

12-16-2007, 09:16 AM

Amen!!! That is fantastic news, all of it!

Elmo

12-16-2007, 02:33 PM

"We should always be amazed at the things that God can do, but never amazed that He does them."

Thanks for sharing the awesome news!

Elmo

kksine

12-16-2007, 04:20 PM

Glad to hear about the good news regarding your mom, but I will continue to pray for your dad and the rest of your family as you go this trying time.

DAS

12-16-2007, 06:01 PM

Tom,
thank you for sharing. I consider it a privilege to pray for your folks and share this time of need and thanksgiving with a brother.

STimpa

12-17-2007, 10:47 PM

I just saw this thread tonite... (encouraged to know we have a prayer forum) and thot I'd share a perspective...
When you started this thread, you had no idea what the next few weeks would bring. As I read this, after all this had already happened... I was learning how things turned out from your reports. You didn't know before, and I didn't know until after. God knew all along. Isn't that cool?
I will be praying along with everyone else for your whole family.
BTW, thank the Lord that many of us have grammas like yours.

Tom B.

01-02-2008, 02:19 PM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

Well, while on vacation, my wife and I took my folks to the VA hospital so that Dad could re-new a prescription covered by their aid. He has to go once a month for blood work and a consultation to keep the aid for his drugs. Anyway, his blood analysis looks good! What ever the bad blood count is, proteins I think, started out at 5000 count when he went out of remission. After only 1 month of the new drugs it is already down to 3000. We are praying that he will be back into remission by the end of May. God willing...:pray1: .

Anyway, we had a great Christmas with them! My wife and I just discovered a ventriloquist by the name of Jeff Dunham (comedy central show on TV) so we found a DVD of him and shared that with my family Christmas day! I haven't seen my Dad laugh like that in a LONG time! Boy did that leave a warm feeling in my heart!

Hope you all had a good Christmas and New Year too!!! God bless everyone on this site!!!:clap2:

Elmo

01-03-2008, 01:13 PM

Sounds like you all had a wonderful time! Priceless...

Continued prayers for you and your family.

Elmo

MGDaversa

01-03-2008, 01:14 PM

Fantastic news!!! Christmas wishes and blessings right back atcha'.

Tom B.

04-25-2008, 07:09 AM

Unbelievable!:neutral:

Saw the great news about Mac's SO Gail and, after talking with my Dad last night, thought I'd update this thread.

The good news is that it looks like our family will be spending another Christmas with Dad. The bad news is that his meds, while working to slow his cancer, seem to be unable to get the control of it that the doctor was expecting! Kemo and a change of meds, either stronger or different all together, are going to be in order. As I feared, Dad may not be able to get the cancer back into remission. He is going for some major testing next week so I'll post the results as they come in!

Please keep him and my mother in your prayers! Thank you in advance for all your support!

Until next time....

Mark

04-25-2008, 09:01 AM

Prayers for some great news and for good luck with the treatments...

Mark

motomac

04-25-2008, 09:15 AM

Prayers continue for your Dad. Hang in there Tom.

John Anthony

04-25-2008, 09:24 AM

Tom,

Thanks for the update. Prayers for your family as well as the medical team who is working on your dad.

John

kc0bid

04-25-2008, 09:32 AM

Tom,
You guys have also been added to my list.

John

Sink

04-25-2008, 09:00 PM

Wow Tom..... Hope the new treatment can get a hold of it again. Prayers going out!!!

jbaker940

04-25-2008, 10:00 PM

Tom-
As I read this thread through for the first time today, I interpret that you're providing important strength and a sense of peace to your parents. Those attributes reminded me of a number of verses in my 'favs' list; a couple : Rom 5:1-5, Phil 4:4-7.
You and your family are in my prayers.
-John

MGDaversa

04-26-2008, 08:17 AM

You got it, Tom. Thanks for the update.
--MGD

Elmo

04-26-2008, 10:28 AM

Now that we have the news from the professionals, we'll await word from the "Doctor"...

;)

Continued prayers for your dad!

Elmo

Tom B.

07-06-2008, 09:19 PM

Unbelievable! An update!!

It's been a while since I posted here but thought I ought to give an update!

Dad had...pnemonia(sp???)... and all his blood numbers got scary out of whack. Doctors were talking about a bone marrow transplant but after learning all they could (mom & dad) about it, Dad said no and will just keep on keeping on with the drug regime he is currently following! Seems now that he's over being ill with the respiratory thing all his blood numbers are slowly coming back into a good standing at least for the time being! All seems good for now. Still it's hard seeing him slowly declining...sigh. Spills things a lot, loses things, yells, cusses...then he'll have some good days where he does ok... Time tells all and I know what is coming. Just trying to make the best of it before he is too ill to enjoy life.

Watched "The Bucket List" tonight! That was hard...sniff, sob...man when did I become such a softy??? Made me think of my Dad. Wish he could do a bucket list of his own...

Thanks again for all the prayers, I know that they are helping and giving us time to make ready for the inevitable!!! To each and every person praying for my father, a hug!!!

Capt_Gruuvy

07-06-2008, 11:28 PM

Say what needs to be said, and forgive without his asking. I wish everyday that I could have more five minutes with my Dad. I would tell him, "I'm sorry".

That isn't going to happen now. I encourage you not to be in my shoes.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Dad ... Mom too as Dad is a bugger to live with I'm sure ...

Take advantage of the time. You don't need a big list ... just an afternoon and some iced tea ...

DAS

07-07-2008, 12:05 AM

I too continue to think about you and pray when I see this tread but sorry for not posting something to let you know. I hope you continue to be encouraged and be encouraging.

motomac

07-07-2008, 04:54 AM

Your Dad is still on my prayer list. Capt Gruvvy has some good things in his post. I don't how many times I wish I still had a Dad. Make sure you get everything square with while you can!

Mellow

07-07-2008, 06:30 AM

I was lucky enough to have visited my mom/dad when dad had his last coherent days. We chatted like we always did. He was only my father for 13 years but did a better job than my real father ever did. We lost him about a month later.

Here are some prayers for him, you and your family and glad he's more comfortable. Like Capt says, be there and do what you can for him. That's what family and friends are for.

Papa Ritch

07-07-2008, 08:51 AM

Prayer have been going out to your DAD and all of your family. I just seen that I have not posted here, sorry about that. I have a list of friend & family to pray for and your DAD has been on this list. Thank You for all of your prayer for my EDIE. Ritch :03biker:

MGDaversa

07-07-2008, 09:11 AM

Thanks for the update. I can only tell you that no matter how much we mentally "prepare" ourselves for the inevitable, it's still not easy. Also, no need to fight your emotions. God gave us each emotion to be used when appropriate. Prayers continue.

Elmo

07-07-2008, 09:11 PM

I'll take that hug my friend...and return it with interest!

Only God knows what you are going through and you can rest assured He will be there for you as you need Him.

Continued prayers for you, your father, and the rest of your family.

Elmo

Sink

07-10-2008, 08:50 AM

"Spills things a lot, loses things, yells, cusses..."

So I'm not supposed to do those things all the time????? NOW YA TELL ME!

Tom,
Hang in there. I've been through it with my Dad. At the end we had hospice there and the family took care of all his needs. Remember, you can't go back, but you sure can make the most of what you have left!!! Been there, my friend. Hang in there and remember, we all have emotions. It's hard to let them out but you have to. It will make you feel much better.

Life is for living....... and must be lived while alive.. make the most of what you have with you and your parents.

The prayers continue!

oldtalljoe

07-10-2008, 08:58 AM

Tom, I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. Sevarl of the wonderful folks on this streamhave made cogent compelling points;
turn this situation over to God's hands. Let Him handle it and ask for His peace. It is not too late to establish/re-estab;ish a relationship with your folks!

Take all of this one day at a time. Or, if it helps, take it all an hour at a time.

You and yours are in my prayers.

Peace, Briother.

Joe

Gug

07-10-2008, 09:18 AM

Tom,

It's some good news. You and your parents are in my prayers. Your not getting soft, just human. I have met alot of people in my life and some think they are tough guys. But my experience has led me to the toughest people I have ever met in my life. They are called good parents. Their actions are completely unselfish and are the result of sacrifice and unconditional love.

I feel very blessed in that I have been able to spend the time with my parents that I have. They are still with me, Mom is now 80 and Dad 82. This is the first year they didn't travel with me in years being I have brought them on vacation with me numerous times. But I see them almost daily and cherish the time spent with them. I don't want to regret not having spent the quality time with them.

Tom B.

09-30-2008, 03:36 PM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

Time for an update but first a huge, HUGE thank you to all the support from ST-Owners.com. The integrity of the people on this site is exceptional!!!

Dad's blood #'s have been getting out of whack again so...back to Indianapolis for more consultation. Dad is now officially stage 3, the final stage, of his bone cancer. Dad still is against the bone marrow transplant but we became better educated about it this trip. Not as bad as we thought. However, Dad has elected to start intravenous kemo therapy instead of the transplant. Both his doctors agree that this is best for now. The tough part is how hard the kemo treatments will be on Dad at 71 years old and how he will hold up against the strain it will put him under. He starts Monday the 6th so we are going to the Studebaker Auto Museum this weekend and share some father son time. Might not have many more chances for this.

I'm thankful that Dad isn't feeling much pain other than normal aches and pains that most folks have at his age. His reactions and ability to process thoughts is slowing visibly but he can still enjoy most things so long as they aren't physically taxing. Won't know how much he'll be able to do once he starts the Kemo. He will be going thru a battery of tests to see how progressed the damage to his bones is but I'm betting he's still holding his own due to how well his drugs have been keeping the cancer at bay. Still, I know it will be worse that the last time these tests were done.

Mom's been having her fair share of ups and downs with this but is a tough cookie! I've been trying to spend more time with her too as she needs the support (especially when Dad is taking it out on her...:rolleyes:). Wish there was more I could do but most of it is in God's hands.

Guess I'm rambling now...

Anyway! I'm still doing OK with all of this but beginning to really feel the presence of the end. Ok, so I'm not all that OK with it but mostly apprehensive about how this Kemo will be for Dad. :(

Please pray for my Hero's!! I can't imagine how all this must feel for them.:noway

DAS

09-30-2008, 05:20 PM

Tom, thanks for the update adn for sharing. We're with you on this.

Sink

09-30-2008, 07:00 PM

Hang in there, Tom. It's a tough road, trust me.... I know. You, your father and mother are in my prayers. Keep your faith and be sure to eat desert first.... You don't know how much longer you have.

Sink

sandy

09-30-2008, 07:19 PM

Hang in there....
Thoughts and prayers are with you......

MGDaversa

10-01-2008, 01:35 PM

You and your family remain in my prayers, Tom. Treasure each day.
--MGD

EJ's 97ST

10-01-2008, 01:46 PM

Thanks for the update Tom....Sharon & I are still sending prayers to you and all the family.
Ed

Tom B.

10-13-2008, 03:35 PM

Unbelievabe:hat1:

Well, the 6th came and went. Dad's white blood cell count was too low so the kemo was put on hold for a week. As of this morning, his white blood cell count was up from last week but not high enough for the kemo. Still, upon looking at the results fromt he bone marrow tap last Monday, they are going ahead with the kemo so today is his 1st day of the treatment. His bone marrow is in BAD shape and so are his other "numbers". Looks like his days are whittling down to the last. I guess it depends on how well the kemo works for him.

I asked Mom if she needed help getting him home but the doctors are confident that Dad will feel pretty much ok for the trip home so here I sit awaiting a call to see how things went...:o4: Can't believe how much this is getting to me...:( Maybe it's all the waiting to see how Dad responds to the new medication and kemo. I don't know. Maybe it's just the understanding that the end is ever more present for him.

I did take him to the Studebaker museum here in South Bend Indiana on the 4th and we had a great time! There is a plathora of great stuff there! This is a must see stop for any auto buffs out there! They rotate a new display in one part of the museum every couple of months which brings fresh displays for those that like to visit often. Once it was muscle cars and this last was British sports cars. Very cool! I even managed to sneak a picture of Dad next to a Studebaker similar to one he once owned without him striking a goofy pose:rolleyes: I can hear him telling me how fast his 289 v-8 champion was! Wish I had been alive to see it.

Anyway, thank you all for the continued prayers! I know they are helping and I'll keep you posted as to his progress.

Until the next time...

Tourin'

10-13-2008, 03:41 PM

One can always consider the following line, by a John Wayne sidekick once.

"Nothing's too late JD, if you love it".

Good luck, and remember one can start something important, anytime they decide to get started. Any ground gained then is good ground to have been on.:)

Mellow

10-13-2008, 04:01 PM

There's not a thing you can do Tom, except be his son... that is the best medicine he can get. The doctors will take care of the rest.

docjacobi

10-13-2008, 04:32 PM

Once in awhile some bit of wisdom stands out with me.. "everything is a choice , not what we are dealt, but, how we handle it!" You can only go forward..and I think you are doing all the right things. Be his son and friend , there are lots of us wishing you the best!

Sink

10-13-2008, 08:01 PM

Tom,
Hang in there and be tough. You will be able to handle this. Keep in mind that when the end does come, he will be at peace and the pain and suffering will be over.

I remember my last outing with my father. He died of prostate cancer. Got in his bones. We went out and had a piece of pie at a GREAT pie shop in Lincoln. Great memory. He so enjoyed that piece of pie. I will never forget that day. We had a great talk. The good thing about knowing the end is coming is you get to say everything you want and need to say. Make sure you don't have any regrets. I went through hospice with my father for the last 6 weeks. That was the most important time we had together. I helped him through a part of his life like he helped me through growing up. Paybacks can sometimes be GREAT! Cherish the time you have and make some more great memories. You wont be sorry.

If you need to talk, let me know. I have some idea of what you are going through.

Sink:pray1::pray1::pray1:

MGDaversa

10-14-2008, 08:15 AM

Can't believe how much this is getting to me...:(

He's your dad, Tom. That's why. No matter how old our parents are when they go, no matter how we try to steel ourselves for that eventuality, it's hard. It has been over two years since I lost my mother and although most of the pain of loss has faded away, I still think about her every single day. For me that's just how it works. Prayers continue, always.
--MGD

okckeith

10-14-2008, 03:44 PM

Try to spend as much time with your parents as you can. Everything you do to help them will mean so much to them. It will also help you feel better to be able to give something back to them. I'm 44. I lost my mom at age 25 and my dad at 33 years old. I realy miss them both. I wish they were here to see how god I am doing. How far I've come. I wasn't the best kid in the world. They always stood by me. I think they would be very proud now. So cherrish the time you have with them. And yes I will be saying prayers for you and your Family. Let me know if I can do anything to help. Sometimes talking is the best therapy. If not to someone else. The man up stairs ear is always open.

Tourin'

10-14-2008, 04:01 PM

And I juST remembered what a school friend recently said. We're many years past high school understand, and his mother was in a Home, and near death. She didn't seem to know who was nearby any longer....

The staffers told the friend things like "why do you visit so often? She doesn't even know who you are". Friend's response: "That may be, but I know who SHE is". Wow, that was priceless I thought. Hmmm, better go and call to say Hi to my own folks!

BigTom

10-14-2008, 05:18 PM

What a great way to be able to help your Dad to his end. I salute your service to your Dad.

Tom B.

10-16-2008, 07:51 AM

Unbelievable!:hat1:

I haven’t had much time to post but here’s an update.

After a more than 6 hour chemo treatment, my Dad never ceases to amaze me. He made it home just fine on Monday and said he was tired but feeling ok. My wife and I went and visited on Tuesday and he was chipper and active. He was also quite cognitive too which sometimes he is not after a round of drugs… We shared a couple of hours with him and Mom before heading home. His next round of chemo is today. I called this morning to say good luck but as my luck would have it:roll:, they had already left for the appointment!

In response to a P.M. from Sink.

The type of cancer that my father has is called multiple myeloma. Most of us know it as bone cancer. He is (I may have mentioned this earlier?) in stage three which is the final stage. As of the 13th of this month, his bone marrow is 80% cancerous which is quite scary for me.:22yikes: However, that is due to the last drug, revlamied (sp?) no longer being effective for over a month. The chemo is supposed to kill off all the cancerous bone marrow so that is good bone marrow can rebuild it’s self. This is a tough series of drugs as I understand it. We don't know how much damage there is to his bones at this time as he hasn't had a C.T. scan in quite some time.

This regime of chemo starts on a Monday as an outpatient program for now. It is called Velcade. He is to have it administered every 4 days for 4 treatments, then a week off. During his 2nd treatment he will get a dose of Doxil (a much more potent from of chemo than the Velcade) along with the Velcade. He also gets a bone strengthening drug (like an overdose of calcium) called Aredia once a month. The Aredia might be the same day as the Doxil as long as the schedule remains the same as how he get started. Dad also has some other prescription drugs that he can take on an as needed basis to fight side effects. These were administered intravenously for the 1st round only. That might explain why he felt so good after the chemo. Also the chemo will build up and how well he will feel after the treatments will probably change?

Anyway, I’ll not know how things are progressing until later tonight. I’ll post again soon!

Again thank you all for all your prayers!! What a great community!:1st:

sirepair

10-16-2008, 08:27 AM

Tom,
Sorry I haven't kept up with this thread. I feel for you and pray for your father. It's good to hear that you are getting to spend some time with him. Makes me realize just how lucky I am. My father is fighting Parkenson's (another tough fight).

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

Tom B.

10-24-2008, 08:10 AM

Unbelievable!:(

Yesterday Dad received his 4th and final chemo treatment for his 1st round of 4. His white blood cell count has been staying very low so they included an injection into his marrow that is designed to boost the white cell growth. it is quite painful. He now gets a week off. He was feeling very sick (exhausted, nauseated, achey) and went to bed early so I didn't get to talk to him. Mom said he looked very pale and lifeless. She's about at her wits end too. Breaks my heart that there is so much more suffering yet to be toughed through.

I'm praying that he will have a good week next week. I'm making it a point to go over there as often as I can while he has this break between chemo treatments. I haven't planned anything special as I don't know how well he's going to be. Just have to play it by ear.

As always, I want everyone who's praying for my Dad to know how much I appreciate your kindness, concerns and the prayers as I know they help!! You are all fantastic people!! Thank you!!:hat1: