Stories From Behind the Badge

[SoloTotoCoyote]

I have the privilege of getting to talk to Leo's when they bring their motors in for service. It's great getting to experience the real people behind the badges and I love hearing the funny and amazing stories of things that happen to them. A few officers have had me in tears laughing so hard to shaking my head in disbelief. I know we have quite a few Leo's on this site and I would love to hear your stories. From practical jokes on other officers to some of the stupidest excuses for speeding you've heard to whatever else you might have.

Thanks for your service, it is appreciated.........uhh.....except when I'm the one getting pulled over :D

[guardian_dfw]

Related to me by a LEO friend:

He pulled a guy over for speeding (45 in a 35). No big deal right? Guy's excuse was that he had went to the store to pick up some Maalox for his sick wife and was in a rush to get it to her. He also had picked up a dozen roses while out to make her feel better. Turns out that he had an expired DL and several warrants for previous tickets. Well, the LEO gave him some pretty bracelets to wear while in the back of the cruiser. While going thru the car taking an inventory, he noticed several bibles and such. Turns out the guy that he just arrested was a preacher and was indeed taking medicine home to his wife to stop her running problem.

Wander what the officer is going to say to St. Peter come judgment day?
Still we're giving him a hard time about it. Also wonder what the preacher told his wife?

Moral to the story= Pay your tickets because anybody can go to jail.:D

[agia]

14 years ago, my beat partner and I got a call about a screaming and hysterical female. We both responded to her property where we were met by an out of control, arm-flapping, hopping around, screaming, crying, female in her early 20s.

My partner asks her what the problem is. She's says Kurt is dead. We ask her why he is dead. She says he shot himself. Partner says where is Kurt now? She responds, "I don't know". Still not wanting to rush into an unknown situation I ask her what Kurt's last name is. She says, "Kurt Cobain...Kurt killed himself".

As my partner starts making a tactical approach to the house, I'm thinking to myself, it sounds like the frontman to Nirvana is dead and I know he's not going to be out here in rural San Diego County. I shout out to my partner to go to DEFCON 1 - this situation is not here...it's the singer from Nirvana. He looks back at me completely puzzled thinking there is a dead guy in the house ahead.

After a few more minutes I am able to confirm the female is upset over Kurt Cobain's suicide but my partner, a country-western music lover only, has no idea who Kurt Cobain is and it took some convincing on my part (Kurt who? Nirvana? What's that?)

We later find out the neighbors were all equally confused thinking there was some dead guy named Kurt in the house based on the way the female was acting earlier. I checked with dispatch who subsequently learned about the suicide in Washington through media sources.

At the time I was the only "rocker" in the station. No one else listened to that genre. I have a much shorter "White Zombie" story that surprised some pot smokers too :D

[thumperjdm]

I used to work in a small unincorporated city that had a train track running across a busy boulevard leading into a very large Air Force base (Edwards). I discovered that some overly-tardy morning commuters would drive around the closed railroad crossing arms, beating the 65mph southbound freight train by mere seconds. I used to make it a point to be waiting about a block down the street--I didn't even hide my car--I made sure I was highly visible. Many of the passing commuters and carpoolers would honk their horns and give me a thumbs up, knowing why I was parked there staring at the train tracks.

One morning I saw the lead vehicle stop for the arms that had just closed. He then proceeded into the (empty) opposing traffic lane, and drove around the arms, coming eastbound right toward me. When I pulled him over, he tried to tell me he had been reaching in the backseat of his vehicle, and unknowingly hit the gas, thereby going through the closed arms (he couldn't explain his phenominal luck at maneuvering around the closed arms). Even his carpool passengers couldn't help but chuckle at his ridiculous excuse.

When I returned a few minutes later with the citation, he sheepishly said, "I guess it's too late to ask for a warning?" I replied, "Oh yeah, you kinda blew that opportunity." He was gracious enough in his receipt of the ticket--he knew he had earned it.

[Hotel 179]

I had arrested a lady for DUI and was completing the booking in the docket room....she had been a happy drunk so I offered her a cup of coffee before locking her up. She said, "Yesssshh, I'd love suuum."

When I returned from the machine and sat the styrofoam cup in front of her I said, "These coffee beans were hand-picked by Juan Valdez." She slurred back, "Thank you, Officer Valdez."

The next morning she wanted everyone within earshot to know what a nice man that Officer Valdez is..... :)

[EASt]

I had arrested a lady for DUI and was completing the booking in the docket room....she had been a happy drunk so I offered her a cup of coffee before locking her up. She said, "Yesssshh, I'd love suuum."

When I returned from the machine and sat the styrofoam cup in front of her I said, "These coffee beans were hand-picked by Juan Valdez." She slurred back, "Thank you, Officer Valdez."

The next morning she wanted everyone within earshot to know what a nice man that Officer Valdez is..... :)


Bahaha!!! I suppose it's fun when the drunks are funny. :crackup

[agia]

About 10 or 11 at night, I'm the 2nd car in a pursuit chasing a car on a straight stretch of highway. A big sweeping right hand turn was approaching and the suspect vehicle straightened out the turn and went over the side. We stopped at the edge and don't see anything down the steep embankment except brush and a house sized boulder.

Soon we saw flames from behind the boulder. This boulder was probably a good 75 to a 100 feet down the embankment and I'm just blown away that a car managed to fly that distance and make it over the boulder. My beat partner and I scramble down the slope and get the fire department en route. By the time we get to the car, we see that it is totally destroyed and burnt FLAT to a crisp. There is no way anyone could survive this.

I call my supervisor and dispatch because I know this is going to get ugly and the brass responds. The fire department gets there, puts the fire out, and starts probing the car and can't find anything. We're all thinking by looking at the car that the driver has been reduced to ashes.

As the sun is starting to come up with the scene totally surrounded by deputies, CHP, and fire personnel, this guy comes staggering out of the bushes a few hundred yards away. Bloody, clothes in tatters, totally disoriented, but very much alive. He turned out to be our driver and we found out that he was ejected, but there was no way to tell this from the car. He spent the night wandering around disoriented and he ran from us because his license was suspended.

You had to be there to appreciate he was one of the luckiest guys I ever met.

[agia]

I used to work in a small unincorporated city that had a train track running across a busy boulevard leading into a very large Air Force base (Edwards).

California City?

[Hotel 179]

The "Oh SHXT" phone rings, I'm in my second week in the dispatch office. "Fire/Rescue, what is your emergency?"

The caller is screaming on the phone, "I've been robbed, I've been robbed!" "Where are you, Maam?"..."You're Putting Me On." I reply, "No Maam, I'm not putting you on. Tell me where you are." "You're Putting Me On."

The training had prepared us, somewhat, for distraught callers so in my most calming voice I said to her, "Maam, if you don't tell me where you are, I can't send help." It worked! She said, very calmly, very very calmly, "I'm at the new dress shop called "You're Putting Me On.'"

"All units in the vicinity...."

[SoloTotoCoyote]

The "Oh SHXT" phone rings, I'm in my second week in the dispatch office. "Fire/Rescue, what is your emergency?"

The caller is screaming on the phone, "I've been robbed, I've been robbed!" "Where are you, Maam?"..."You're Putting Me On." I reply, "No Maam, I'm not putting you on. Tell me where you are." "You're Putting Me On."

The training had prepared us, somewhat, for distraught callers so in my most calming voice I said to her, "Maam, if you don't tell me where you are, I can't send help." It worked! She said, very calmly, very very calmly, "I'm at the new dress shop called "You're Putting Me On.'"

"All units in the vicinity...."

:crackup :crackup :crackup

[thumperjdm]

California City?

Rosamond (the west gate of Edwards)

[agia]

OK...Somewhat familiar with the whole area in general (Kern County). Rosamond sure has grown...

[vossman]

I lived in the Rosamond Village Apts for 4 years 95-99.

[bluedragon]

I was working a pretty busy four lane road that runs through town one Sunday morning. Zapped a car going 65 in a 35. Stopped the car, driver explained he was a preacher late for church. Got his info, wrote his citation and returned. When he saw he was getting a ticket he went BALLISTIC!!! He explained (using some mighty colorful language) he was a truck driver. I explained that I saw the class on his DL, but 30 over in town is a bit excessive.

He then pleads with me for a warning. He explains that he just got a ticket the week before from CHP for speeding and with this ticket he will probably lose his job. I explained his warning was last week and he didn't listen. Press hard three copies, drive carefully.

As I backed away from his car, he was jumping around and yelling like a hive of bees was in his car.

[johnSTamela]

I was a reserve with Yakima PD in Wa state coming back from a meeting in my cage. I was t-boned by a lady who ran a red light. I spoke with the officer who responded to the accident and told me the girl's excuse was the sun was in her eyes so she didn't notice the red light. Good excuse, except she was travelling east and it was about 7:30 PM with the sun to her back.

[motor2191]

I wrote a young lady one afternoon for a red light violation. I though little of it, until the court date months later. We went in and I testified. I didn't recall if I was on my motorcycle at the time or in my car, but either way I observed the confirmation light (the little light atop the traffic signal) and then she proceeded into the intersection. Sounds like a pretty air tight case, even the judge agreed and she was found guilty of the violation. The following day she came in to file a formal complaint against me. She was 18'ish and her parents came down also wanting to have me fired for lying in court and that their "little angel" would and could never break the law, especially something like running a red light! Well I thought about it a little more and remembered that if I was in my car, our cars are equipped with digital cameras. What's that mean, well, when you turn on the lights the camera also turns on but it backs up 15 or 20 seconds prior that point in time which most of the time captures a violation on "tape". It turns out I was in my car and low and behold the here is the violation for everyone to view. At the time, my chief happened to be at city hall for something when this family came in to obtain my personell file in order to get things ready for the lawsuit they intended to file. They spoke for sometime. My chief told them that I was one of the most trustworthy officers he knew and if I wrote her for a red light then she ran a red light no doubt. They still wouldn't back down, either my job or the lawsuit, well, until they watched the video....To bad we aren't afforded the ability to file a suit against them! Talk about emotional stress...

[Hotel 179]

A car was zipping along when I rounded the curve so I pulled the driver over. He was going fast enough for a contact, but I didn't plan to write a ticket. Walking up to the car I saw that he was a well-dressed older gent, probably in town for a conference. Our town is a "drinking town with a fishing problem" but has turned into quite a vacation/convention destination over the years.

I'm chatting it up with the fellow as he digs his license out of his wallet. He tells me that he's in town for a lawyer's convention. I make a joke about it being a "target-rich environment" and thank him for the head's up. He laughs a big belly laugh and I went back to the car to write the warning. Soon he's back on his way after I welcome him to our fair city.

Later that afternoon I stop another lawyer for speeding. He wasn't much over, but again it was enough for a contact. When I walked up to the car and asked for his license, he says to me, "Are you the nice fellow that stopped Judge Bowen this morning?"

Have you ever heard a name and couldn't quite put your finger on where you knew it until the light in your head comes on? I'm thinking to myself, "Bowen, Bowen....". I reply, "Yes, that was me." That would be Supreme Court Chief Justice Bowen.

[agia]

More of a personal horror story...years ago while working patrol in an unincorporated area, I was dispatched to a two car collision. Normally, the CHP handles this sort of incident but one of the driver's was convinced he was hit on purpose leaving the CHP officer to be believe this was now an assault with a deadly weapon. CHP leaves and I take over.

I take statements and photographs; however, based on my investigation, I hardly found this to be a deliberate assault -- it was just a fender bender. Upon the victim's insistence, he wanted this prosecuted as an assault (side note: D.A. laughed this one off). However, I documented the incident.

About a month later, I get a notice from the victim's insurance company stating unless I paid Allstate something to the tune of a $1,000, they would be notifying the DMV to administratively suspend my driver's license.

I wasn't involved in this incident -- I was just dispatched to investigate it. So I call Allstate and explain to them they made a serious mistake naming me as financially responsible for this accident. Believe it or not, Allstate refused to believe me after I clearly identified myself as the responding LEO -- not a party in the collision.

It took my getting a department attorney to place calls and draft a letter articulating the incompetence of the employee(s) assigned to this claim to finally back off. After about a week, they finally got it. I also had to check my own license status periodically to make sure it wasn't administratively suspended :mad:

[Hondafan]

When I was on patrol as a rookie city LEO in CA, I approached an occupied vehicle parked outside a closed convenience/liquor store late one night.

After calling in my location, plate #, I exited my veh, and began to approach the vehicle with my flashlight, I noticed something out of my right peripheral vision and could not believe it....my cruiser was passing me and then rear ended the parked vehicle. I did everything right except put the car in park.

Anyway, the Sgt had to come out and luckily the 2 guys inside did not claim injury, even though i both of their heads jerk forward and backward and their dmg was minimal.

With an apology I continued on patrol to "protect the public" :D

[SoloTotoCoyote]

.......With an apology I continued on patrol to "protect the public" :D

:crackup



Great stuff, guys!!! Keep it coming! :D

[Mcreviver]

I'm not a LEO but I know a few on a first name basis and one was out patrolling on a snowy night on Interstate 80 in PA, when he saw a fresh opening in the guide rail a car width wide. A car missed a turn and went a good distance off the road, down into the woods. The trooper parked on the berm, turned on all the flashing lights and retreived the couple who lost control. Just as they were about back to the road, here comes an 18 wheeler a few miles an hour too fast to make the curve too. The LEO throws the couple clear and dives out of the way just as the rig smashes the patrol car (that had 30 miles on it). Everybody eventually makes it back to the barracks and the trucker calls his boss on the phone, "I had an accident."......... "I hit a car on 80."................ "It was a brand new car."............... "It was a State Police car."

[johnSTamela]

Again with YPD as a trainee responding to an alarm at a church close to midnight. My trainer and I approached from the side parking lot and we separate as we circle the building. As I'm coming toward the main entrance, the door starts opening towards me, meaning whoever was coming out was invisible to me behind the door. I drew my weapon and aimed at the door. A man walks out dressed in obvious priest wardrobe. I don't know whose eyes were bigger, mine or his!:eek:

[Hotel 179]

I worked night shift most of the time because that's where the most stuff tends to happen...I was accustomed to the sights, sounds, and smells of the night so when I found myself working during the day it was a transition for me.

A driver came out of a side street and busted a redlight so I pulled them over near the entrance of the beachfront drive. All the lights, rotating, flashers, take-downs were on because, remember, I work nights most of the time. Lights were our friend in these situations. There's something beautiful about reds and blues piercing the night. After the stop my partner and I drove away.

As we turned into the beachfront, a group of 3 biki-clad cuties were peeping us hard so we gave them a wave as we continued our patrol. You'll have to roll back 15 years, I was younger, single...my partner was younger, single and we worked the beach! Public relations are very important. They smiled and waved back with some enthusiam as we made the turn. Jeff says to me, "Hey Pearce, swing back through and lets give 'em another look." As we made the block the girls were still there and seeing us, stopped and turned around to face us and followed us with their eyes as we rolled past. They couldn't stop staring at us. Whoooo Hoooo!

A car in the lane ahead pulled to one-side to let us through and I thought to myself, "How polite. You don't see that often enough." As we pulled back out onto the road my radio beeped...Sgt. calling me on Tac 5..."20, turn off your lights."

[dreddd2000]

Sgt. calling me on Tac 5..."20, turn off your lights."

:chrfl1: :doh1: :cop2: :banghead: :crackup :crackup :crackup

[SoloTotoCoyote]

As we made the block the girls were still there and seeing us, stopped and turned around to face us and followed us with their eyes as we rolled past. They couldn't stop staring at us. Whoooo Hoooo!.........As we pulled back out onto the road my radio beeped...Sgt. calling me on Tac 5..."20, turn off your lights."

:crackup

[Blue STreak]

I used to drive past one of the DC precinct lots on my commute to work. I'd guess at close to once a week a car came out of there with the lights on, pulled up to the stop light, and waited for the light to change.

Whenever I had the opportunity to pull up next to them I'll roll down the window, beep the horn, and then point at their roof. About 75% of the time I'd get a sheepish grin and the LEO would reach over and turn them off. The other 25% they'd look at me like they had absolutely no idea what the heck I was doing.

[STraycatt]

Our PD recently switched to LED light bars from the old Rotators. The transition was not particularly smooth. The rotators you could hear, the LEDs are silent. So there was a rash of officers leaving the lights on, most often hitting them accidentally.

-Adam

[George]

I'm waiting patiently for Adam C. to tell his stories. :D

[Mellow]

I'm waiting patiently for Adam C. to tell his stories. :D

LOL... 700 motorists pulled over in Aurora, IL during shift change.. Officer claims, "I didn't hear the lights".

[STraycatt]

See mine are less funny and more just forehead slapping examples of Darwinism.

The first that pops to mind is from when I was still on probation. Clock a guy doing 70 in a 45 down SB Rt59... Pull a uey to knock him down and he stops at the light for W/B 88 at rt 59. Start walking up to the car, checking in the back seat as I go and spot an open case of MGD in bottles... Shine my flashlight forward and the guy is looking over his left shoulder directly at me. Half a heartbeat goes by, and he throws it into gear and taks off southbound on 59, turning off his lights. I call out the guy is running, hop into my squad and begin to make chase, I go about halfway over the overpass and see the perps car trying to get friendly with another vehicle in the NB traffic lanes by the E/B 88 on ramp. Guy had two felony warrants, including one for AGG SEX BATT of a Juvenile, and is a registered sexual predator. Gets 3 more felony charges for his contact with me. While at the hospital he asks what his bond is for the warrants, I tell him $150000 (meaning e has to post $15000 cash) and he says, no problem. Oh, and he was a previously deported felon as well. He crashed his WIFE's new Volvo, and while at the hospital, his 17yo GF shows up to see how he is doing.....

-Adam

[txdon2006]

A Story about a Ticket I didn’t get

I have Disable Veteran Plates on one of my cars and Purple Heart plates on the other two but regular plates on my ST. Although I am a Vietnam Era Disabled Veteran I try not to use that as an excuse for anything as some days I get by OK and other days the wounds from shrapnel against my spine is almost unbearable. I have been stopped for speeding several times in the past couple of years, but never got a ticket and I do believe the plates helped. This story is about one of those times.

One day a while back I was in the vehicle that has the DAV license plates on it going up to Oklahoma from Dallas and got pulled over by the Denton police after cresting an overpass doing about 80 in a 70. After stopping and waiting for the officer to approach my car I noticed he was on the radio a few minutes before he got out and came up to my car. When he got to my car he asked me if I knew why he stopped and I told him, “Yep, I was speeding.” (Even though everyone else around me was doing about the same speed. I just got picked out of the crowd.) I felt that there was no sense in even bringing that up. I was guilty.

He then asked for my license and insurance and proceeded back to his vehicle to run the information. I guess he needed to see if I was wanted on any warrants or an escaped convict, etc. He was in his car for about 10 minutes before he returned, and I kind of started to get worried. He then returned to my car and gave me back my license and insurance papers. After a slight pause he then asked me what I did for a living. I told him I didn't do anything as I was a Disabled Vet and really couldn't do anything anyone would hire me for on a regular basis. He had his ticket book in hand and what he did next really surprised me. In a quiet and sincere voice he said "Thank you for your service sir and please try and slow down". With a quick snap to attention and a snappy salute, he walked back to his car and drove off.

I sat there for a moment and reflected on how long it had been since anyone had acknowledged the pain, separation and long hours that the military had demanded of me. What he did doesn't happen often and as I felt the moisture in my eyes starting, his actions deeply moved me. It was a simple thing, but very powerful to me. Vietnam Veterans generally don't get a lot of respect. The license plates were no excuse for breaking the law, but in this case, I think it helped save me a ticket. I didn't even have a chance to say thank you as he was gone so quickly.

I never knew the officers name but I know that's one fellow I did it all for. To that officer, whoever he may be, I promise to try and slow down. Try, being the operative word here.

[Mcreviver]

Yeah, you go away for three years and come back home and all the pretty girls are married and all the good jobs are snapped up. Sux to be us sometimes eh? And then they give amnesty to the sorry assed bastages who slipped north to Canada.

[Gonzo]

If I have not said it before, then I say it now, Thank You for your Service, Sir.

[txdon2006]

Yeah, you go away for three years and come back home and all the pretty girls are married and all the good jobs are snapped up. Sux to be us sometimes eh? And then they give amnesty to the sorry assed bastages who slipped north to Canada.

The truth be told. Welcome home soldier.

[txdon2006]

If I have not said it before, then I say it now, Thank You for your Service, Sir.

Thank you Gonzo. I appreciate that.

[Tourin']

I've said it in this and my other forums, and do again. Thanks to you and others for that service. Yeah, later in life I heard tales about how Nam Vets were treated when knuckleheads saw their Nam service ribbons. One friend told me he would sometimes remove his, due to this. Too bad the same knucklehead mentality is with us today in a sad way. But thanks to the Patriot Guard folks, there is a buffer sometimes!

Can't seem to get a Flag icon via the edit function, so just imagine one.

[guardian_dfw]

:usflag1:

Here ya go. And thank you to all of the men and women that have and do serve to allow us the freedoms that we take for granted every day.

[Tankereng]

Thanks to all vets who make it a point to ensure that those of us serving now get a good welcome home when we return from deployments.....rock on my brothers:usflag1:

[George]

Kudos to those who serve, but...

I hate war.

[Mcreviver]

" I hate war." Yes, so do we all. I think it's a bit late to thank Vietnam Vets. Concentrate instead on the all volunteer servicemen and women who are laying it on the line for their country today and keep getting sent back to the deserts and mountains of Iraq and Afghanistan. Vietnam was difficult at times, but the conditions the troops are subjected to today must be worse. Particularly in the early part of the Iraq invasion. May you come home safely to loving families, may your mission be successful, may your sacrifices be remembered always, and may you prosper after you leave the service. You have paid your dues while those who chose not to serve ride for free.

[Gonzo]

I don't think it's ever too late to thank and/or appreciate those who served. In particular, IMHO, the Nam Vets took abuse because the gummint stopped funding the war, but the average Joe in the street interpreted that as a loss. They still take abuse today, so why not tell them we appreciate their sacrifice. Should we just ignore it all?

[Mcreviver]

Well, from my personal perspective as a Vietnam Vet, it doesn't do me any good now. Hell, nobody even asked me about the war when I got home. They saw it every night on the TV and new all about it. (Yeah, right.) When I went to interview for a job I had to decide if it was better not to mention that I had served. Of course they saw it on the resume. My point is, a favorable recognition, a pat on the back, and a thank you, would have meant a lot more had it been delivered in a more timely fashion. We were so disgusted with the treatment that we funded our own memorial (Vietnam Wall in D.C.) and didn't want any government help. When I returned home, I immediately went to the employment office to look for a job, or get my old one back, which was guaranteed by law. My old job was filled and no suitable job in my profession was available locally, even though two local factories could have used my skills as a licensed aircraft mechanic. The clerk at the employment office said she wanted to sign me up for unemployment compensation. I told her I didn't want the government money, I wanted a job. As I turned to leave, she said no one ever turned it down before. "Well, I am," I said, and left.

[Hotel 179]

I have several friends that I call a couple of times a year just to say and say it now to my ST family, "Freedom, for those who fought for it, has a taste the protected will never know."

[Sailormilan2]

Rosamond (the west gate of Edwards)

I worked Rosamond and Mojave as a Deputy for about 4 years, 1981 - 1985. I was working one night and got a call of an accident out in the country on the Tehachapi-Willow Springs Rd. It was actually a CHP problem but I was closer and could check things out till they got there.
Mercedes vs. Pickup. Pickup with about 8 Mexicans(Hispanics if you prefer), Mercedes containing one Chuck Conners. Who promptly walked up to me and badged me by showing me a Special Deputy badge issued by my boss, and goes, "I'm Chuck Conners, Special Deputy".
I just responded with, "I know who you are. Have a seat in the back seat of my patrol car."

One night we received a report of a stolen bus(Greyhound style) headed north to Mammoth Lakes, coming north of Los Angeles on Hwy 14.
My beat partner had a two man car, and they stopped the bus north bound about 5 miles south of the town of Mojave.
Myself and another unit arrive to back them up, and we proned about 40 Doctor and Lawyers in the Chartered Bus, who were on their way to Mammoth to ski, in the mud.
I turns out the bus was not stolen, it was a civil situation, involving a repossession. For some reason Los Angeles PD took a report and listed it as stolen.
My beat partners spent a week writing memos to the Lieutenant explaining why they stopped a bus and proned 40 people in the mud.

I spent 7 years as bailiff in traffic court, where I got to hear all kinds of "reasons". One of my favorites was, "Your Honor I wasn't speeding, I just didn't slow down fast enough."

[SoloTotoCoyote]

...................Myself and another unit arrive to back them up, and we proned about 40 Doctor and Lawyers in the Chartered Bus, who were on their way to Mammoth to ski, in the mud.
I turns out the bus was not stolen, it was a civil situation, involving a repossession. For some reason Los Angeles PD took a report and listed it as stolen.
My beat partners spent a week writing memos to the Lieutenant explaining why they stopped a bus and proned 40 people in the mud............................................... .I spent 7 years as bailiff in traffic court, where I got to hear all kinds of "reasons". One of my favorites was, "Your Honor I wasn't speed, I just didn't slow down fast enough."

:crackup

[Sailormilan2]

Defendant: "What does red mean?"
Bailiff(me): "Excuse me?"
Defendant: "What does red mean?"
Bailiff: "Maam, red is a color. It doesn't mean anything"
Defendant: "Are the laws here(Bakersfield) the same as in San Francisco?"
Bailiff: "Yes, maam they are."
Defendant sits down

[Sailormilan2]

Judge: "Young lady, why are you late for you court appearance? You missed your court date?"
Defendant: "Your Honor, we were in a terrible accident." (Defendant has marks on her face.)
Judge: "What kind of an accident?"
Defendant: "Your Honor, our pickup hit a pot hole, and the air bag deployed."

[KenBobPDX]

While I was a LEO in So. Ca. (just north of the Tijuana/Mexican border) we got hit with a rash of burglaries at elementary schools that were on the edge of town near the unincorporated canyons that the illegals would use to travel north.

It was past 2am, the drunks had all been put to bed, so I was out shaking door knobs on one of the schools that had been repeatedly hit, when I heard the sound of the biggest rattlesnake I'd ever heard in my life right behind me. :eek:

I swirled around simultaneously pulling my sidearm out of the holster, readying to make Swiss cheese out of this monster reptile. About that time, the pop-up sprinkler head finished it's rattlesnake like return course and began the lazy, swish, swish, swish as it gently watered the lawn behind me.

I looked around to see if there was anyone else out there besides me that might have witnessed my moment and thanked the Good Lord we rode in one man cars (or I'd never hear the end of it). It was about then I decided the school was just fine, (thank you very much) and decided there was other patrol work that needed doing elsewhere.

[SoloTotoCoyote]

While I was a LEO in So. Ca. (just north of the Tijuana/Mexican border) we got hit with a rash of burglaries at elementary schools that were on the edge of town near the unincorporated canyons that the illegals would use to travel north.

It was past 2am, the drunks had all been put to bed, so I was out shaking door knobs on one of the schools that had been repeatedly hit, when I heard the sound of the biggest rattlesnake I'd ever heard in my life right behind me. :eek:

I swirled around simultaneously pulling my sidearm out of the holster, readying to make Swiss cheese out of this monster reptile. About that time, the pop-up sprinkler head finished it's rattlesnake like return course and began the lazy, swish, swish, swish as it gently watered the lawn behind me.

I looked around to see if there was anyone else out there besides me that might have witnessed my moment and thanked the Good Lord we rode in one man cars (or I'd never hear the end of it). It was about then I decided the school was just fine, (thank you very much) and decided there was other patrol work that needed doing elsewhere.


:crackup .......I can see the headline now "Rainbird draws fire from Police"

[KenBobPDX]

At the end of a rather long and rather uneventful graveyard shift, I was cherry picking the speeders coming out of a well to do neighborhood area.

I was ready to end my shift when I tagged one going 50+ in a 35 zone. As I approached I noticed there was something disturbingly familiar about the car.

I asked for the driver's DL and paperwork and realized I'd stopped the police chief's daughter. (Just my luck)

Me - Do you know how fast you were going? (As I handed her back her DL)
Her - Look, don't give me any cr*p. If I deserve a ticket, then I should get a ticket. Don't treat me any different than anyone else.
Me - Sounds good to me (As I pulled back her DL)

I scratched her up and walked the ticket into the Lt.'s office.

Spouting a chorus of expletives and colorful language at me, the Lt. walked the ticket over to the chief's office.

I got switched off graveyards shortly after. :D

[SoloTotoCoyote]

At the end of a rather long and rather uneventful graveyard shift, I was cherry picking the speeders coming out of a well to do neighborhood area.

I was ready to end my shift when I tagged one going 50+ in a 35 zone. As I approached I noticed there was something disturbingly familiar about the car.

I asked for the driver's DL and paperwork and realized I'd stopped the police chief's daughter. (Just my luck)

Me - Do you know how fast you were going? (As I handed her back her DL)
Her - Look, don't give me any cr*p. If I deserve a ticket, then I should get a ticket. Don't treat me any different than anyone else.
Me - Sounds good to me (As I pulled back her DL)

I scratched her up and walked the ticket into the Lt.'s office.

Spouting a chorus of expletives and colorful language at me, the Lt. walked the ticket over to the chief's office.

I got switched off graveyards shortly after. :D

"But, sir. She was asking for it and I don't mean figuratively!!".......bummer.

[wheeliedude03]

A huge T.Y. to all the officers that wrote in about your best calls. They just don't pay you guys well enough to do the job you do (espec. here in L.A.). I got a wonderful chance to meet a Glendale officer a few weeks back while he stopped me on my STeed for a mere speeding viol... and while I always preach to tell the officer exactly what you did and agree with him completely, I was stupid. When asked "is there a reason why you were doing 85 in a 65, my answer was...."was I going that fast?" DAAAA. Well, I guess I'll have time to think about my stupid answer while sitting in traffic school! OHHH by the way, what was Mr. Officer driving?? A ST1300 of course!

[Old Way]

My wife is a PSR for LAPD and she has a few great stories of calls se has received. One was when a woman called in and reported a man calling for help from the bathroom of the apartment across from her. When the officers arrived they heard the man call for help and they entered the apartment to realize the man was singing the Beatles song Help!
I'm very proud of her, on her way home one night she saw two women struggling on the side of the freeway at the 101 split. She thought that one of the womwn may be choking. She called the CHP and exited the freeway and went back around to offer her help. Turned out the woman was trying to commit suicide by running onto the freeway. My wife ran out into traffic and pulled her out of lanes twice! She won an LAPD life saving medal and other awards.
She was nominated for PSR of the year but did not win because she was not operating the radio, I guess physically saving a life does'nt count!
Here is a video of her awards and actual 911 call.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGjTk5smsVo