I ALMOST... Did it....

skidlid1300

Blacksheep Tribal Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2007
Messages
585
Location
In the woods
Bike
Schwinn
A local Harley dealer had a large party at their dealership yesterday.... I almost puchased a nice, used Ultra Glide. I haven't ridden a Harley in 25 years, and the bike was certainly nice, Harley has come a long way, they have really made them better from what I remember. I have been looking for a bike that is much comfortable for my girlfriend to ride pillion. I have been checking out Gold Wings (used) and the prices I have found to be too expensive for me. The used Ultra Glide I was looking at I thought had a decent price on it. I was able to take it out for a ride, and I discovered it was not that bad at highway speed...

I have been with my girlfriend for more than 10 years, and she used to give in, and go for a ride on the back of my ST, only to find out she is a nervous wreck on the back because of people tailgating in cages, and people driving badly around here. Not too enjoyable for her. So, I thought maybe it's the bike. Maybe she would be more at ease on a big comfortable bike like the Gold Wing, or as in this case, I'd have an open mind, and see what Harley has to offer...

For all you solo riders out there that have wives who don't get on the back because they don't enjoy motorcycling as much as you do ~ I'm in that catagory too. I get great solice and peace riding and exploring roads, checking out new places... A good portion of my life has been riding solo. I wanted to try to make it more comfortable for my girlfriend to enjoy it with me. I have seen some awesome scenery, and experienced great commradery with ST friends, all the while wishing that my girlfriend would love what I'm experiencing too... That has been the driving force behind my decision to get a different bike, or even trade in my ST :eek:

Now, I have some riding buddies that joke and say, "Well, time to get a new girlfriend." But really, she's a great girl, and I want to continue loving, and sharing my life with her.
I am curious on what other guys who have girlfriends, wives, who don't ride with them, what you think.... Is there a feeling of wishing your wife was there, experiencing what you're experiencing?... I know, some guys will say, "Hell no, I get on the bike to get away from her..." I know, I have ride buddies that would give me that type of answer... No kidding aside.... Some honest answers would be great... :):)

I had a heart to heart talk with my girlfriend, and really discussed with her what was going on inside her. This has been a sore spot with us, and this time I wanted to get some real honest, speak the heart answers, and tell her my driving force on why I have been pestering her on riding with me. She used to give me answers that she felt "out there, and too vulnerable on the back of my bike," or, "There isn't a back rest..." Things like that... Well, with that information, that's why I bought a top box for my ST, I was looking at Gold Wings, and even going to a Harley dealer... After more discussion, and more "it's the bike" type replies, we finally got to the heart... She's just really afraid of getting on the back. Plain and simple. She honestlly explained to me the reasons why, which I won't get into...

Needless to say, I rode home from the Harley dealership on my ST. I was thinking, "damn this bike sure rides smooth... Man, I don't want to trade this thing in..." I pulled in my driveway, saw my truck sitting there, which I need to do some rust repair on, and have been planning to do... I thought, "Na, I can't do this... I can't put my money on a Harley... What the hell am I thinking... I turned my ST around, rode back up to the Harley dealer, and told them I'm sorry, I don't want the Ultra Glide....

Today, I thank God and see stuff much clearer... And get some honest feelings and answers... I am so glad I didn't get it... :)
 
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
89
Location
Innisfail, ab, canada
Bike
Honda ST1300
My dad has an '85 GL1200 wing and he has to do a bit of pestering to get my mom to ride on it but i don't think its as much as a fear thing as she gets bored.
I can understand this, riding on the back of a bike and only being able to see someone's giant helmeted head for 5-8 hours of riding is not much fun. no matter how comfortable the seat is, if its too comfortable the passenger just falls asleep and almost falls off (my mom did this).
My only suggestion is to make it the passenger seat as comfortable and secure as possible. My dad achieved this by putting a drivers backrest on his wing, and arm rests for the passenger, as well as raised the passenger floor boards. I don't know how much you can do to the ST to achieve this, since i just got mine last weekend.
 

Gunz

Houligan
Joined
Aug 1, 2009
Messages
212
Location
Southern Mississippi
Bike
'08 1300
STOC #
8079
Three days before I was going to buy a new GW, my wife comes out to the shop and "wants to talk about my new bike". Man, I thought we were gonna fight, but she said she wanted me to buy a bike that I wanted to ride. After a few mintues of "what are you talking about", she confessed that she didn't like riding, was never gonna ride, and that I should get something I want to ride by myself.

I sure love my ST1300. I even love my wife, and in 19950 miles, she's ridden around the block once.

(And, "eat your heart out," last week she told me to pack my camping gear, get on the bike, ride to Florida, watch the Space Shuttle launch, and don't spend too much money!)
 

sherob

Old Herder of cats.
Joined
Feb 3, 2005
Messages
3,256
Location
Brighton, CO USA
Bike
21 HD FLHXS (SGS)
STOC #
5294
I traded my ST for my 06 GL1800 so my daughter could ride with me. She put many miles on the back while we lived in Texas, but really didn't ride that much with me here in Colorado, so I went back to a Sport Tourer. My wife rode on the back of the Wing two times the 2 years I had it... probably 30 whole miles.

Last year she intimated she wanted to get another Wing so "we could ride together"... Huh? I'm alright with that as long as I can keep my C14... LOL!!! :D I don't see her riding if I got another Wing... she has this thing about helmets, closterphobic.
 
Joined
Jul 31, 2010
Messages
65
Location
Centerville, Ohio
Bike
2003 ST1300 ABS
My wife doesn't ride, but that is OK. I think it's healthy for a relationship for each person to have things that they do on their own. My bike is mine, and she spends a lot of time reading. Makes us both happy.



Who Dey
 

Marshal_Mercer

Bumbleberry + Crumble = Yum!
Joined
Dec 8, 2004
Messages
601
Location
Alameda, CA
Bike
Has new home
STOC #
6214
I have had the same realization: my wife does not enjoy bikes as much as I do, and won't ride with me any more. I love my wife more than my bike, so I might get a car that thinks it's a bike.

I've been looking at a Porsche Carrera 4S Cabriolet lately. It's almost a bike, and we can ride together. I would not have even thought of that but a friend gave me a ride in his Grand Sport Corvette.

Marshal
EDIT: The bike has gone to a good home, and the Carrera 4S Cabriolet is now in my garage.
 

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patiodadio

Motorcyclist
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
218
Location
KY
Bike
ST
My buddy traded his Gold Wing for a Spyder touring model and loves it, so does his wife. But my advice is to take your gal shopping for moto clothes. Nothing gets them pumped up like a new jacket and boots !
 
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Chance

Taming the dragon!
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
672
Age
57
Location
Urbanna, Va
Bike
'07 ST1300
take your gal shopping for moto clothes
THAT is good advice! Honestly.. it makes a difference.

My wife rarely rides on the back of my ST. She rides a CBR600F4i that will never see 70mph. I know for her, it's the feeling of being out of control & if your traffic is anything like ours down here, I truly understand her fears. I'm glad you took a little time to sleep on the trade in. I'm certain you would have found yourself missing the ST no matter how nice the other bike is. Maybe you can find other ways to spend that time she wants with you? I know in our lives, finding time together is challenging if we don't plan ahead. Goodluck!
 
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skidlid1300

skidlid1300

Blacksheep Tribal Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2007
Messages
585
Location
In the woods
Bike
Schwinn
I really started questioning her without her getting upset, like she feels that I am "pushing her" into something she doesn't want to do. I told her that I want to understand so, that I can feel fine, and know she's ok with it, and continue to do what brings me solice at times ~ riding my motorcycle. I totally restored, and built a Jeep from the ground up 3 years ago. I bought a new fiberglass body, newer frame, rebuilt the engine, painted it myself in the garage, redid the whole thing... My motivation was is that we finally found something we can do together. She LOVES the Jeep... We had a blast last summer at the dunes...

A Can-Am Spyder wouldn't do it. I asked her at one time. It's just like a motorcycle to her. I am finding out and have known to some degree, that it's ok that we have our own interests. I just didn't know to what depth....


Silver Lake, MI Sand Dunes 006.jpgSilver Lake, MI Sand Dunes 020.jpgSilver Lake, MI Sand Dunes 030.jpg

 

Chance

Taming the dragon!
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Messages
672
Age
57
Location
Urbanna, Va
Bike
'07 ST1300
Wow, that's a great color for that wrangler! We've had a couple ourselves. It's the next best thing..I guess. You guys can enjoy that and 'feel' safer!
 

st11ray

2006 ST1300
Joined
Jul 29, 2007
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2,735
Location
charlotte, nc
Bike
'06 ST1300
STOC #
7189
I agree with Alain, maybe she needs her own bike.
I don't blame your GF one bit, I wouldn't ride on the back of any bike either! I think you have to be nuts to ride on the back of a motorcycle!
My wife is a little nuts though, because she seems to like to ride on the back of my ST. She's ridden with me for over 30 years now. She probably rides with me 30 - 40% of the time. When we take long multi day trips, she flies to the destination and I meet her on the bike with all her gear. She doesn't like to do big mileage days to get somewhere. This system has worked well for us.
 
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skidlid1300

skidlid1300

Blacksheep Tribal Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2007
Messages
585
Location
In the woods
Bike
Schwinn
Maybe your girlfriend needs to get her own bike...
Alain
I did this a while ago... I ran across a 1976 CB750A "Hondamatic" that I thought she would like to learn on. I mean the bike has no clutch, only a Hi - Lo two speed shift. it's in great shape with only 3,500 miles on it. She tried it once, in a large parking lot. I give her credit for giving it a try. She didn't like it. She was too nervous on it for her liking...
I still have the bike. It's a hoot get on once in a while...

1976 Honda CB 750A Hondamatic 001.jpg
 

mbw919

Martin
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
148
Location
Charlevoix, MI
Bike
'07 ST1300
Ron,
I found your post quite interesting to read because it sounds a little like what I've gone through in the last few years. One of the main reasons I got an ST1300 was my wife becoming less comfortable riding her own bike. Now she can be a passenger whenever she likes, but even that's starting to make her nervous. She's not afraid of her own skills. She's an accomplished motorcyclist, snowmobiler, archer, marksman, singer, and a few others I am probably forgetting right now. She still seems to trust my skills when she's a passenger, just as she has for the last 26 years. It's the other drivers out there that rattle her nerves. If it were just her, her bike, and the road, she would be fine. She says it's no longer fun when she has to worry about other drivers around her.

I guess we all change a bit as we progress through life, and sometimes we question the risks we take. If she hadn't told me her real feelings about this, I might still be wishing for a Goldwing because I thought she'd be more comfortable on one. At least the ST1300 makes a good solo bike.:wink:
 

b.carez

Bill Carez
Joined
Aug 29, 2006
Messages
63
Location
Parkersburg WV
Bike
98 ST1100
STOC #
6518
It sounds like your girlfriend just isn't comfortable with the risk,and may never be. I understand your wish to share the experiences you have on the bike with her. I rode dirt bikes for a long time and still do. I mainly bought my last few street bikes so that we could ride together and she loves my ST and traveling on it together. She even loves a spirited trip through the twisties. I tried to take her on my DRZ 400 once out gravel road riding because the scenery in our area on some of the ridges and such is so beautiful I wanted to share it with her. Terrible idea. I was uncomfortable, she was uncomfortable nobody had a good time. She has no interest in riding her own bike and that's fine with me. If your girlfriend has no problem with you going and she has her own interests that she can enjoy while your gone, I'd say your a lucky guy and she's a keeper. My guess is that the more things you do to try and make it ok for her to go, the guiltier she feels for not wanting to, and that won't be a good thing for either of you. Let her know you understand her position don't pressure her, it's not for everybody.
 
Joined
Aug 1, 2007
Messages
547
Location
Williamsport, PA
STOC #
4138
Due to the rising price of gas I recently informed my wife that she had better start getting used to the idea that if she wanted to go anywhere this year, it would most likely be on two wheels. I'm even thinking about some kind of small trailer so we can get groceries on the ST. In the past she was always making up excuses why she didn't want to ride. Too cold, too hot, too many stones (loose gravel-~anti-skid) on the road, etc. I finally got the message that she didn't like riding anymore. I never dumped the bike but had a near miss with a deer one evening with her on the back. She tore some hair off my chest once, through a leather jacket no less, for cornering too fast. She apparently thinks we will fall over if I lean a bit. Hey, maybe she needs a testosterone injection.....noo......that might put hair on her chest.
 
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skidlid1300

skidlid1300

Blacksheep Tribal Member
Joined
Mar 29, 2007
Messages
585
Location
In the woods
Bike
Schwinn
It sounds like your girlfriend just isn't comfortable with the risk,and may never be. I understand your wish to share the experiences you have on the bike with her. I rode dirt bikes for a long time and still do. I mainly bought my last few street bikes so that we could ride together and she loves my ST and traveling on it together. She even loves a spirited trip through the twisties. I tried to take her on my DRZ 400 once out gravel road riding because the scenery in our area on some of the ridges and such is so beautiful I wanted to share it with her. Terrible idea. I was uncomfortable, she was uncomfortable nobody had a good time. She has no interest in riding her own bike and that's fine with me. If your girlfriend has no problem with you going and she has her own interests that she can enjoy while your gone, I'd say your a lucky guy and she's a keeper. My guess is that the more things you do to try and make it ok for her to go, the guiltier she feels for not wanting to, and that won't be a good thing for either of you. Let her know you understand her position don't pressure her, it's not for everybody.
That's where I am at now... She's indeed a keeper... She likes the fact that I have a collection of different Honda bikes, and that I have a passion, a hobby... I have restored a '77 Jeep so that we can have fun in the sun together... She LOVES the Jeep... You're right though, it's not for everybody... Thank you for re-affirming this... That's what I am looking for when I posted ~ some feedback from great folks on this forum... Thank you all... :):):)
 
Joined
Aug 14, 2010
Messages
135
Location
Powell, Tn
Bike
2007 ST
I can give you a reverse image of your situation. I had an 05 HD Electra Glide that I sold and got an ST1300. I orginally bought the Electra Glide thinking that my wife would love the big road sofa and would ride with me far more often. Don't get me wrong, I liked the HD. The problem was that it mainly became about the HD culture, the $$$'s spent on having all the H-D branded merchandise. I found out that my wife didn't really ride that much more, and in fact was becoming where she wasn't all that comfortable back there at all. I think it had alot to do with all the motorcycle fatalities in the area that year. You couldn't pick up the paper for several weeks w/o seeing a headline about a rider killed. So, after buying the ST, and owning it for several months, she has rode with me 2 times. She really, really hated it the first time because it didn't have any sort of backrest. Now, that I've got a topbox, she seemed to actually enjoy the last ride a bit. Mind you, I took it real slow and smooth to keep her happy.

All that said, I think you have to ride the bike that makes you happy. I like the fact now that I own a motorycle that rides great, and it's all about the ride. I don't spend all that time polishing chrome or deciding which H-D shirt to wear to be coordinated.
 
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