Knowing when it's "when"?

On the RockSTOC thread there is a fresh story of another tragedy, wherein a rider was involved in a serious (but, thankfully not fatal) collision due entirely to the negligence of another driver. An oncoming driver made a left turn directly in front of the rider, leaving no time or space for a reaction from the bike. The rider is seriously injured (several broken bones, brain bleeding) but evidently (and thankfully) has a good prognosis for recovery. No idea what long-term ill effects may be, of course.

This has set me to thinking once again whether it's really worth the risk, which is more considerable than I care to admit except deep within my own secret thoughts. Even with as many mitigating precautions as can reasonably be taken, there is always the chance of some random fool doing something unpredictable and entirely out of my control, and cutting me down.

Given the potential for catastrophic outcomes, I have to evaluate once again whether that is a risk I am willing to continue to take on. Is the pleasure and joy of riding worth it? Every time I throw my leg over the saddle the answer is implicitly "So far, Yes" but every time I read of something like the event in question a bit of the fun dribbles away, never to return.

We've collectively ridden hundreds of millions of miles safely, but some of us have already encountered and others of us will encounter that one instant where all that history means nothing. The only way I can see to change that is to park the bike and hang up the keys for good.

How much longer will I live in denial and tempt or defy fate and fortune?

I know exactly what you are talking about... but lets put it like this... If we stopped to calculate what it takes to raise a child, we wouldn't, most likely. Just do you best to stay safe and ride safe, we cannot control the actions of others. Dwelling on such thoughts will keep you uptight and rob you of that joy.

This is a Demon we all must deal with from time to time when we hear of such bad accidents.

The only one that knows the answer is YOU. I tried to quit once, not due to anyone's accident or my own but because I thought that there were too many people in my life that depended on me and if I weren't around it would be tough on them. But, I had a huge hole in my life without riding. Perhaps I just didn't find something fast enough to replace it. Anyway, I returned in just a few months and never looked back.

A life not lived, is not a life. I don't know who said that or if that's even the full quote but it's stuck with me. What 'lived' means is for each of us to decide. Maybe motorcycling is too dangerous and not worth the risk, again, it's up to you to decide that.

We could all sit on the sofa and stare at the TV until our hearts just stop... Not gonna be me, I know and accept the risks of this particular hobby, maybe foolish, but I've seen things with this hobby that have enriched my life and at least for me, it's worth the risk.

I know of a feller that was walking down the sidewalk to church and tripped, hit his head, got a blood clot on the brain and was dead in less that 24 hours. Then there is my friend Andy who lost his lower right leg in 4 way stop blow through - no fault of his - 3 miles from his house. Saturday I took him with great joy to the Ducati dealer so he could pick up a brand new Scrambler. Living is dangerous, dying is certain. At the end of the day, we are all dying - just at different rates. ;-) I've been hit by a drunk driver which should have killed me and had my share of near fatal close calls. But I always remember the words of Stonewall Jackson as to why he was so calm in the battles - 'When your duty is clear, do not consult your fears'. My duty is to stay sane and riding greatly aids that! ;-) Fear will put us in a rubber room where we die a slow, safe, miserable death. My advice is always simple - if riding no longer brings you joy, get off.

Sometimes the pressure comes from more sources than just within. I'm sure all of us know other guys (being sexist here, being it's a male-dominated hobby) whose wives refuse to allow them to own motorcycles.

I'm lucky. My wife knows that riding a motorcycle is a huge part of who I am. I'd die from within, if I wasn't allowed to ride. Even after watching news stories of motorcycling-related tragedies, she's never hinted that I should quit my hobby/passion.

I'm not as eloquent as Uncle Phil or Mellow, but those two posts sum-up my feelings about riding.

I figure I'm living about as dangerously as possible: I'm a cop, who flies helicopters, and rides motorcycles. If I've made it this far, might as well keep riding the roller coaster!!

Ride safe!!

Yeah, I agree with everything the others said. There was a couple killed in Maggie Valley a couple of weeks ago while I was at Lanny's RTE. They were not with our group. My buddy who was with me called and told me about it after I got home. He said his wife was all torn up and thought he should quit riding. I told his wife that I saw an auto wreck where someone was killed. I asked her if she was going to quit riding in cars. She said that was different. I'm not giving up bikes, bicycles, guns, skiing, or any other activities that might be a little dangerous. Like UP said we are all dying, it's just a matter of time. We might as well enjoy it while we are alive.

thumperjdm said:

Sometimes the pressure comes from more sources than just within. I'm sure all of us know other guys (being sexist here, being it's a male-dominated hobby) whose wives refuse to allow them to own motorcycles....

Ride safe!!

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I don't understand the concept of a spouse "not allowing" someone to do something. Maybe people just use it as a euphemism for "respecting a preference", My wife, who passed away 3 years ago, loved me and wanted me to be happy. I've always had a motorcycle. She would never have asked me to not ride, such was her love.

There are many things I did or didn't do because I loved her and respected her preferences, but that was MY choice, not her demands. As adults, we are each responsible for our own decisions and should never blame someone else for our behavior which is what being "allowed" or "not allowed" sounds like to me.

And if people are using it as a euphemism, then they should just own up to the truth and say (for example) "I don't ride because it makes my wife nervous and I love her too much to cause her to feel that way".

My wife's brother was killed by being struck on a bicycle, he left behind three school-age children. A few weeks later I hit a deer on my ST 1100 and totaled it. My wife asked me to not get another bike right away, at least until our kids were older. Because I love her and respected where she was coming from, I waited three years. Sometimes loving someone can also mean sacrificing a little.

I agree with all that has been said in the previous posts ride on if you love it stop if you aren't comfortable with it. I ride because I enjoy it, it's fun I meet great people through this hobby and get to see beautiful places. Oh yea and eat some great food. Is there risk yes I do what I can to mitigate the risk but not riding is something I am not ready to do at this point. Someday maybe but i'm not there yet. My wife does like to ride with me but she does not have the passion for it that I do. So when I go on a 2000k mile weekend ride she does something else. Having a Spot tracker gives her some peace of mind while I am out for an extended trip.

Every individual has to evaluate their own situation and act accordingly. I like to think I'm careful and mitigate the inherent dangers of riding a bike, but I know most of what happens out on the road is pure happenstance. A second here and there can make a big difference.

My answer to the title of this thread is this:
I believe in the God of the Bible. (no intention here to push this on anyone, it's just what I believe) And if He is as He claims to be there then He has my life in His hand. When time arrives when my appointment with Him is scheduled it doesn't matter if I'm riding my mc, sitting in a cage, walking down the street on the sidewalk, or sitting in my office chair reading this forum. When that time comes it comes and I'll be taken out of this life regardless what I'm doing. I don't intend to test or try His patience, though I do that plenty as it is. I just do my best to manage the risks of anything I do. For a time I too was fearful of what might happen while riding. But through many circumstances in the last many years, some in the relatively recent years, I've come to understand that it really doesn't matter what we are doing as long as we do our best along the way in whatever we choose to do. As Mellow states in his signature line: "Worry less..... Ride more..."

For me, "when" will only occur if I am physically unable to ride the bike, otherwise its an easy call to make, I'm riding.

dwalby said:

For me, "when" will only occur if I am physically unable to ride the bike, otherwise its an easy call to make, I'm riding.

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The dreaded "When"! 4:

I started riding when I was 19. My folks never liked motorcycles, in fact, our dad always called them two wheeled coffins when DaveH and I were growing up. I got my dad to co-signed on my second bike.

Although I didn't have a bike when I got married, my wife saw that it was good to have one, since it allowed her to have the car when I was at work. Then we went to Germany and I was without a bike for three years. Of course the whole time I was there I wanted one. When we got back to the States, that was the first thing I wanted. The wife on the other hand got totally ticked anytime I brought up the topic.

I got a bike and when she found out, she had a cow! I didn't have it too long, but not because of her. Then we moved back to LA and Chris talked me into buying a old Mustang to fix up. She thought it would take my mind off motorcycles. She was right, right until I got it going and sold it and bought another bike! She wasn't happy with me! A few years later, on my 650 Nighthawk, I went down at 65MPH. She decided that if that wasn't enough to keep me off of them, nothing would. She was right, nothing would.

When I had my accident in 2008, she said that the last one I get. anymore and I don't get to ride anymore. Well, maybe if I had only one bike it would be easier to enforce that...but since I have three, she might find a fight on her hands! I just hope that day doesn't come anytime soon..

I took a long hiatus from owning a motorcycle after the broken pelvis in 97'. In fact just bought my first bike since then about 3 months ago. To be clear, me and my wife rode motorcycles in the mean time, just didn't own one. Since I've gotten the bike back both her and I have remarked that riding the bike is the ultimate unwinding of the mental stresses that life brings. No phone, no radio just you and the thrum of the engine and the smooth arcs in the pavement that make up the ride to no particular destination. The fact that my children are now 14 and 16 and are firmly established as their own identity makes the decision much easier.

That for us is the joy in motorcycling. I use it everyday for back and forth to work and the occasional long way home route. She joins me on the weekends. Both of us missed the bike and I know she nor I has any plans on giving this one up any time soon. Relaxation is just a right hand twist away at least, that's how I see it. If it ever becomes a nervous or harrowing experience. If I can't shut off the thought of possible demise every time I pull out of the drive then I suppose the whole point I took it up would be over and so would the bike. Until then, live life, enjoy the ride!

Remember the pain in death is living. Those who are left behind experience sorrow. The dead weep no longer.

"The future's uncertain and the end is always near"
Let it roll

But do what you can to minimize the risks.
When it's not fun pick something else.

You could quit while you're ahead stay all wound up from life and stroke out. Doesn't sound like a good plan.

When I hit the deer a few years back it definitely crossed my mind to quit. But knowing I would probably get over the fear, I bought another ST so I could put OEM equipment on my totaled machine and keep the farkles. This forced me to "get back in the saddle" sooner than later. Even now, I'm apprehensive before every ride, but once I'm moving and in the zone all is well!
(Reminds me of when I read "Jaws" just before going to the sea shore as a kid; nervous as heck before getting in the water, but once my feet were wet, all was well!)

ddemair said:

I don't understand the concept of a spouse "not allowing" someone to do something.

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Me either, but its a very common issue, not limited to motorcycles per se, rather stretches across just any- and everything a fella could, or signals intentions to do...
Must be competing or valence issues their growing (only) in their heads...

When is it time to quit something you love to do? Well, surely not over someone who's only jealous, envious and mercenary about it... ;-)
Already my job bears many risks at daily bases, I encounter them with experience, common sense, using safety measures and acting level-headed...
Same in riding, think, never react emotionally, never overestimate your abilities, accept that you are the first fault in the chain, and never stop increasing your skills (safety trainings, etc...)
And if I start not feeling safe with something, job-wise or in riding, I stop doing it...

Here's my $0.02:
-I'm an ER doc, so you would think that if there was anyone who wouldn't ride, it would be a doc that sees injuries from bike vs car collisions (I actually don't see too many of them), but as others have said, I've seen people who were either not injured or injured minimally despite significant damage to their cars/ bikes.
-I have seen people walking fall to the ground hit their head and die from intracranial bleeding
-I have seen quite a bit in 20 years of being in the ER and that includes people dying from trauma as well as people dying from illnesses (like cancer) that occurred despite living a clean (drug, tobacco, and alcohol free) life. Some get sick from their own actions (tobacco, overweight, drugs) while for others, it's a genetic 'flip of the switch'.

I'm in agreement with many here in that we're all going to go at some point, so since I love riding so much, I'd rather ride, mitigate the risks that I can (well lighted bike with loud horn, ATGATT, wait for and expect the cager in my vicinity to do something stupid and be ready for it) and live. I could live in a box but never be happy. It's true that 100% of risk can't be accounted for (animals in the roadway), but you do the best you can. I feel I'll stop riding when I feel uneasy on the bike (can't balance as well or slowed reflexes), but for now, I ride on.

I'm well insured, so if something happens to me, the Mrs. will be OK financially. I have an agreement with the Mrs. that if I become significantly disabled (vegetative state or the like), I'm not to be saved as I wouldn't want to live that way nor be a burden.

Permit me to wax philosophically for a moment:
-I actually don't fear death. I'm 51 years old now and realize now how much I worried about stuff in the past and what a waste of time and effort it all was. The end is certain for each of us, we just don't know when it will be. If I were to give up everything in this life I enjoy, then what's the point in being alive? You're alive, but are you living? That doesn't mean increasing risk, but taking control when you can. Life in itself is entropy (look it up).

Best of luck in your decision (to the OP).

OK, here you are:

en?tro?py
ˈentrəpē/
noun
1.
PHYSICS
a thermodynamic quantity representing the unavailability of a system's thermal energy for conversion into mechanical work, often interpreted as the degree of disorder or randomness in the system.
2.
lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.
"a marketplace where entropy reigns supreme"
synonyms: deterioration, degeneration, crumbling, decline, degradation, decomposition, breaking down, collapse; More


^^ I'm referring to the 2nd definition above.

rjs987 said:

When that time comes it comes and I'll be taken out of this life regardless what I'm doing.

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I agree with rjs987 I have on 3 separate occasions, driven into the small town I live in and coming to the first cross road, had a car pull out in front of me, causing me to lock up the brakes. Now I wasn't on a bike, but once in a pickup, once in my corvette, and once in my wifes Acadia. So if people pull out in front of cars, we need to be even more vigilant on bikes. I try to ride safe, and as long as I enjoy it and can, I will ride. When I was 16 I rode a 305 Yamaha, and after a while I got afraid of someone doing something stupid, or me doing something stupid and getting hurt. So I sold it. 5 years later, I got back in and have enjoyed it ever since. If you are that concerned, you would have less stress by quitting.