Warning..this is a rant against brontosauruses.
I thought I was being proactive ya know, nosing those bikes together so we could cable the front wheels during the night at the Motel in Winslow, AZ. Helps me sleep beter at night, plus I have a disc lock too. Can't be too careful. Then in the morning, my buddy got a little over exuberant and couldn't give me five seconds to back my bike away from his before he tried to pull out. Not sure what happened, but he got off balance on that stinking top heavy, lumbering, miserable, behemoth adventure BMW and tipped over right there in the parking lot...against my ST1100!.
Of course he was right next to my svelt, gorgeous, low center of gravity, just getting broken in, great handling, 50 mpg ST1100 with it's brand new 40 amp alternator, which of course he took down with his dying elephant! Of course his handle bar gets stuck between my fender and the brake rotor, so the bikes are locked together. We finally managed to unhook them, but it took three guys to stand that miserable BMW behemoth back up, and of course his handle bar with it's metal adventure bar end did smash and break my 26 year old front fender! I wasn't a happy camper! If he'd just given me 5 stinking seconds to back the bike away! But I was cool, and yes he's still among the living. Stuff happens.
Maybe someone can explain it to me, cause I don't get the adventure bike thing. The monstrosity is not a good road bike. Every time we got into the curves, he backed off like he was riding on gravel, which he never would cause it's not a good off road bike either. It never has and will never get off the pavement, cause it stands like eight feet tall, weighs just over 9000 pounds and those eight gallons that weigh some 4800 pounds are like nine feet off the ground right behind the handle bars, where if you get it two degrees off center...over it goes...and there is absolutley nothing you can to do stop it when it starts going. Plus it's like seven feet wide and looks like a '73 Buick LeSabre is behind me when ever I look at it in the rear view mirror. You sure see a lot of them on the road though...get it,..on the road. Sort of like the lifted $69,000 GMC diesel 4X4 that lives across the street that will never see dirt.
I asked him why he rides the thing, cause he can barely touch toes to the ground, and he's standing up all the time cause it hurts his butt after a few miles, even though it's supposed to be good for over 300 miles, which my ST which I sat on for 264 straight miles last Friday, can easily do . He's scared to death of tipping the thing over, which I find out he's done multiple times and those dents in those aluminum pannier bags show the proof. He even has handle bar gaurds to protect his bars "when" it goes over, you know the ones that are really hard on ST fenders. He says he likes the way it looks. What? That's his criteria for the bike he wants to ride thousands of miles, he thinks it looks cool? I asked him what about handling and comfort and being able to touch the ground so you're not terrified of gravity all the time and smashing your buddy's bike? I guess it's an eye in the beholder thing.
So, when I got home I hit e-bay and discovered that with shipping guys are wanting almost as much for their used scarred up front fenders as bike bandit does for a shiny new one, plus it's on sale and they gave me free shipping. Should be here in few days, and I guess that 26 year old Vger will look pretty spiffy with that shiny new front fender. I hope I can talk him into unloading that hippo before our next ride.
I thought I was being proactive ya know, nosing those bikes together so we could cable the front wheels during the night at the Motel in Winslow, AZ. Helps me sleep beter at night, plus I have a disc lock too. Can't be too careful. Then in the morning, my buddy got a little over exuberant and couldn't give me five seconds to back my bike away from his before he tried to pull out. Not sure what happened, but he got off balance on that stinking top heavy, lumbering, miserable, behemoth adventure BMW and tipped over right there in the parking lot...against my ST1100!.
Of course he was right next to my svelt, gorgeous, low center of gravity, just getting broken in, great handling, 50 mpg ST1100 with it's brand new 40 amp alternator, which of course he took down with his dying elephant! Of course his handle bar gets stuck between my fender and the brake rotor, so the bikes are locked together. We finally managed to unhook them, but it took three guys to stand that miserable BMW behemoth back up, and of course his handle bar with it's metal adventure bar end did smash and break my 26 year old front fender! I wasn't a happy camper! If he'd just given me 5 stinking seconds to back the bike away! But I was cool, and yes he's still among the living. Stuff happens.
Maybe someone can explain it to me, cause I don't get the adventure bike thing. The monstrosity is not a good road bike. Every time we got into the curves, he backed off like he was riding on gravel, which he never would cause it's not a good off road bike either. It never has and will never get off the pavement, cause it stands like eight feet tall, weighs just over 9000 pounds and those eight gallons that weigh some 4800 pounds are like nine feet off the ground right behind the handle bars, where if you get it two degrees off center...over it goes...and there is absolutley nothing you can to do stop it when it starts going. Plus it's like seven feet wide and looks like a '73 Buick LeSabre is behind me when ever I look at it in the rear view mirror. You sure see a lot of them on the road though...get it,..on the road. Sort of like the lifted $69,000 GMC diesel 4X4 that lives across the street that will never see dirt.
I asked him why he rides the thing, cause he can barely touch toes to the ground, and he's standing up all the time cause it hurts his butt after a few miles, even though it's supposed to be good for over 300 miles, which my ST which I sat on for 264 straight miles last Friday, can easily do . He's scared to death of tipping the thing over, which I find out he's done multiple times and those dents in those aluminum pannier bags show the proof. He even has handle bar gaurds to protect his bars "when" it goes over, you know the ones that are really hard on ST fenders. He says he likes the way it looks. What? That's his criteria for the bike he wants to ride thousands of miles, he thinks it looks cool? I asked him what about handling and comfort and being able to touch the ground so you're not terrified of gravity all the time and smashing your buddy's bike? I guess it's an eye in the beholder thing.
So, when I got home I hit e-bay and discovered that with shipping guys are wanting almost as much for their used scarred up front fenders as bike bandit does for a shiny new one, plus it's on sale and they gave me free shipping. Should be here in few days, and I guess that 26 year old Vger will look pretty spiffy with that shiny new front fender. I hope I can talk him into unloading that hippo before our next ride.
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. I would say that doesn’t really count against your tip over numbers as it wasn’t your fault. I would send the bill over to your buddy though.
Tell us how you REALLY feel Ned! Good rant!
