🤣 Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
Amazing that these days you can use a palm-sized, mini high-performance computer with nano-coated glass,
a touchscreen and a lithium-ion battery to blare out into the internet that you 'don't believe in science'...
a touchscreen and a lithium-ion battery to blare out into the internet that you 'don't believe in science'...
diferg
Dan & Ingrid
Are you comfy back there Deare?Humm, I think I'm forgetting something.
OP
OP
John OoSTerhuis
Life Is Good!
Thanks to all that do. Much appreciated!
Don't forget to add the indelible red ink.
Last edited:
STRider
Site Supporter
OP
OP
A ventriloquist is traveling through Oklahoma when his car overheats. He pulls over to the side of the road and sees a farmer out plowing his field and decided to have a little fun with this good ol boy. So the ventriloquist walks over and yells over the sound of the tractor” “ hey mister, ya got a minute”? the farmer shuts down his tractor and says “ sure son, what ya need”? the ventriloquist says “did ya know that your cow can talk”? the farmer says “mister your crazy, that cow can't talk”. The ventriloquist says, watch this and throws his voice and the cow goes” I love life out here on the farm , I always have so much to eat” and the farmer goes “ damnit my cow can talk “ !! the ventriloquist then says, “mister did ya know that your pig over there can talk”? “ The farmer replies, “ mister I've had that pig seven years now, ain't never said word one!!” The ventriloquist says watch this,”and throws his voice again and the pig goes “ I hate life out here on the farm my pig sty is always so filthy “.. the farmer replies“ damnit my pig can talk too”. Then the ventriloquist goes “mister did you know that your sheep over there can talk“? And the farmer goes” mister, don't you believe a word that whore says, “she was a born liar,” !!
OP
OP
A police officer pulled over a car for speeding and approached the driver’s side window.Officer: “Sir, may I see your driver’s license?”
Driver: “I don’t have one. Got suspended after my fifth DUI.”
The officer narrowed his eyes. Not good.Officer: “Alright… can I see the registration for this vehicle?”
Driver: “Not my car. I stole it.”
The officer stiffened. This just got worse.Officer: “You’re telling me this car is stolen?”
Driver: “Yep. But now that you mention it, I think I saw the owner’s registration in the glove box—right next to my gun.”
Officer: “There’s a GUN in the glove box?!”
Driver: “Yes, sir. That’s where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.”
The officer backed away slowly and immediately called for backup. Within minutes, multiple squad cars arrived, lights flashing. The captain himself stepped out, approaching cautiously.
Captain: “Sir, may I see your license?”
The driver shrugged and handed it over. It was valid.
Captain: “And this car? Who does it belong to?”
Driver: “Me, of course. Here’s the registration.”
The captain examined the papers—everything checked out.
Captain: “Would you mind opening the glove box? We were told there’s a gun in there.”
Driver: “Sure, but there’s no gun.”
The officer opened the glove box. Empty.
Captain: “Alright… now, can you pop the trunk?”
The driver complied. The trunk swung open—completely empty. No sign of a body.
The captain turned to his officer, arms crossed. “I don’t get it. This officer said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and a body in the trunk.”
The driver shook his head and smirked.
Driver: “Yeah, and I bet the liar told you I was speeding too!”
Driver: “I don’t have one. Got suspended after my fifth DUI.”
The officer narrowed his eyes. Not good.Officer: “Alright… can I see the registration for this vehicle?”
Driver: “Not my car. I stole it.”
The officer stiffened. This just got worse.Officer: “You’re telling me this car is stolen?”
Driver: “Yep. But now that you mention it, I think I saw the owner’s registration in the glove box—right next to my gun.”
Officer: “There’s a GUN in the glove box?!”
Driver: “Yes, sir. That’s where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.”
The officer backed away slowly and immediately called for backup. Within minutes, multiple squad cars arrived, lights flashing. The captain himself stepped out, approaching cautiously.
Captain: “Sir, may I see your license?”
The driver shrugged and handed it over. It was valid.
Captain: “And this car? Who does it belong to?”
Driver: “Me, of course. Here’s the registration.”
The captain examined the papers—everything checked out.
Captain: “Would you mind opening the glove box? We were told there’s a gun in there.”
Driver: “Sure, but there’s no gun.”
The officer opened the glove box. Empty.
Captain: “Alright… now, can you pop the trunk?”
The driver complied. The trunk swung open—completely empty. No sign of a body.
The captain turned to his officer, arms crossed. “I don’t get it. This officer said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and a body in the trunk.”
The driver shook his head and smirked.
Driver: “Yeah, and I bet the liar told you I was speeding too!”
facts are not funny!
