🤣 Funny!

The local bar had a standing $1000 challenge: the bartender would squeeze a lemon until not a single drop remained, then hand the rind to a challenger. If they could squeeze even one more drop, they’d win the cash.

Over the years, plenty of tough guys tried—dockworkers, boxers, even pro wrestlers—but nobody ever managed it.

One night, a burly biker in a leather jacket strolled in, his boots echoing across the floor. With a smirk, he said, “I’ll take your bet.”

The bartender laughed but agreed. He grabbed a lemon, squeezed it until it was bone dry, then handed the pitiful remains to the biker.

To everyone’s amazement, the biker clenched the rind in his fist and squeezed. One... two... three drops trickled into the glass.

The bar exploded with cheers. The bartender handed over the $1000 and asked, “Alright, man—what’s your deal? You a powerlifter or something?”

The biker chuckled as he pocketed the cash.

“Nah,” he said. “I’m the guy who tightens the bolts on Harleys at the factory.”
 
Nashcat said:
I heard about the canon, years ago, when I met a guy that had worked on building and testing the canon. I live only 50 miles from Arnold Engineering, where it was developed.
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My actual line of work is testing things, mostly for aerospace. I have been to a test lab in Florida that had one of these cannons and I have seen it being used for some preliminary design testing. Apparently the official testing is done at a really expensive lab so they use the cheaper options during development. It was using just air pressure and looked like a huge potato gun but with lots of instrumentation attached to it.
They were using semi-defrosted chickens aimed at what looked like a business jet looking cockpit assembly. The windows and surrounding metal survived the impacts but it was very messy.
They don't get to use it very often so it's kind of a spectacle when the testing is going on. It was not my test so I don't know much about the actual parameters but it was fun to watch.
 
There's been a mixup of some lists in the Bosnian Academy of Sciences and Arts, so they send their janitor Mujo as a delegate to a UN conference on social stereotypes. So, he finds himself on rather boring sessions, not understanding much. On one of the breaks he wonders around the conference venue, and he finally spots something interesting - an attractive woman - tall, long blonde hair, large breasts, curvaceous figure, etc. – whom he takes to be a receptionist, so he approaches her to ask where the cafeteria is.

‘I’m not a receptionist’, said the woman, ‘I’m a professor of the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences, and I’m giving a presentation to this conference.’

‘No way ?!’, said Mujo, surprised.

‘Indeed’, said the woman, ‘My presentation is on sexual stereotypes of ethnic groups.’

‘Interesting’, said Mujo, stroking his chin.

‘It certainly is’, said the woman, ‘For example, it is widely believed that the French are the best lovers, whereas in reality, it isn’t the French, but the Greeks. And many people think that black men are the most handsomely endowed, but in fact, it is the Native Americans who are the largest in that department. However, some of such stereotypes turn out to be close to the reality. For example, English males are really true gentlemen.'

‘But I’m being very impolite,’ said the woman, ‘talking on like this about myself and my work. And you are…?’

‘Geronimo’, said Mujo, prepared; ‘Geronimo Papadopoulos from Birmingham. Pleased to meet you.’
 
20 years as a successful gynecologist, a doctor grew tired of dealing with malpractice insurance and endless HMO paperwork. Even though medicine was all he had ever known, he decided it was time for a career change.

Since he had always been good with his hands, he thought becoming a mechanic might be a great fit. He enrolled in evening classes at a local technical college, attended diligently, and absorbed everything he could about automotive repair.

When the practical exam arrived, he carefully prepared, executing each step with precision. Weeks later, he received his results—and was shocked to see a score of 150%! Thinking there must be a mistake, he called his instructor.

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful,” he said, “but I just wanted to check if there was an error in my grade.”
The instructor chuckled. “Not at all! You disassembled the engine flawlessly—that earned you 50%. Then, you reassembled it perfectly—another 50%.”

After a brief pause, the instructor added, “And I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler… something I’ve never seen done in my entire career!”
 
docw1 said:
20 years as a successful gynecologist, a doctor grew tired of dealing with malpractice insurance and endless HMO paperwork. Even though medicine was all he had ever known, he decided it was time for a career change.

Since he had always been good with his hands, he thought becoming a mechanic might be a great fit. He enrolled in evening classes at a local technical college, attended diligently, and absorbed everything he could about automotive repair.

When the practical exam arrived, he carefully prepared, executing each step with precision. Weeks later, he received his results—and was shocked to see a score of 150%! Thinking there must be a mistake, he called his instructor.

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful,” he said, “but I just wanted to check if there was an error in my grade.”
The instructor chuckled. “Not at all! You disassembled the engine flawlessly—that earned you 50%. Then, you reassembled it perfectly—another 50%.”

After a brief pause, the instructor added, “And I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler… something I’ve never seen done in my entire career!”
Click to expand...
Sure he wasn't a Proctologist?:rofl1:
 
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