You Can't Be A Pirate, With All of Your Parts

[ibike2havefun]

Lyrics to a seasonally-appropriate song I learned about, yesterday. Enjoy...

You Can't Be A Pirate, With All of Your Parts

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an ear.
Blood drips down your neck, it falls on the deck,
'Til someone shouts out "Oy! What's this 'ere?"
You can't wear your glasses, nor chat up the lasses,
Your friends have to shout so you'll hear;
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an ear.

But it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate, with all of your parts.
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an eye;
It stings like the blazes, it makes you pull faces,
You can't let your mates see you cry.
A dashing black patch will cover the hatch,
And make sure the socket stays dry;
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses an eye.

But it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate, with all of your parts.
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a hand.
It spurts and it squirts and it jolly well hurts,
Pain only a pirate could stand.
The fash'nable look is a nice metal hook,
But now you can't play in the band.
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a hand.

But it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate, with all of your parts.
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a leg;
It hurts like the dickens, your pace never quickens,
Hopping around on a peg.
Ask your sweetheart to marry, too long you have tarried,
'Cause now you can't kneel down and beg.
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a leg.

But it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate, with all of your parts.
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a head;
It falls with a thud and is covered in blood,
And your beard gets all sticky and red.
You can't comb your hair, 'cos your head's over there,
But besides that by now you'd be dead.
Being a pirate is all fun and games, 'til somebody loses a head.

But it's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate, with all of your parts.
It's all part of being a pirate (a pirate)
You can't be a pirate with all of your parts.

So all be aware - it hardly seems fair,
But you can't be a pirate
if you're all there!

 

[Obo]

These lyrics to a uke song by chance?

 

[ibike2havefun]

These lyrics to a uke song by chance?

How ever did you guess?

There's a Youtube vide of four guys at what I presume is a Renaissance festival, doing a rather bawdier version.

 

[SMSW]

How ever did you guess?

There's a Youtube vide of four guys at what I presume is a Renaissance festival, doing a rather bawdier version.

I was wondering how you would get past the censors as I read the lyrics

 

[SMSW]

I think you left out this verse

Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a - whatsit (*shiver*)
Use it and choose it, but you don't wanna lose it
Let's hope somebody spots it (I'm not pickin' it up!)

The doc comes along, he sews it back on
He ties it up tight and he knots it (Oh!) (He tied it too tight!)
Being a pirate is all fun and games
'Til somebody loses a whatsit