🤣 Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
OP
OP
The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
No way! No needles! I hate needles!" says the patient.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
"No way! I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having a mask on suffocates me!"
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection at all," the patient says.
"I'm fine with pills."
The dentist then returns and says,
"Here's a Viagra."
The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.
No way! No needles! I hate needles!" says the patient.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
"No way! I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having a mask on suffocates me!"
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection at all," the patient says.
"I'm fine with pills."
The dentist then returns and says,
"Here's a Viagra."
The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
... I frequently stumble over this fella... 
OP
OP
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that S.O.B. on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!”
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that S.O.B. on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!”
OP
OP
A man entered the confessional and told his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The man said, "Well, we took our clothes off and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped!" The priest said, "Rubbing against each other is like getting into each other. You'll never see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box!"
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked toward the poor box. He paused for a moment, then began to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, ran to him and said, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yes, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The man said, "Well, we took our clothes off and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped!" The priest said, "Rubbing against each other is like getting into each other. You'll never see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box!"
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked toward the poor box. He paused for a moment, then began to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, ran to him and said, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yes, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
STripper
Brian
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OP
OP
Being in a relationship with a tightfisted partner can be quite disagreeable. While individuals have the right to spend their money as they please, being in a relationship adds a different dimension to it.
In such situations, compromises and adaptations between partners are essential. And here’s an intriguing story that exemplifies this concept:
I’m uncertain of their motives, but let me share with you a tale of a widow who made a promise to her avaricious husband to bury him with all his wealth, as it was his earnest dying wish. Quite an interesting character, don’t you think?
Nevertheless, the wife, displaying her integrity, was determined to fulfill her promise, even though she found the situation utterly absurd. Nonetheless, she was determined to find a solution to navigate around the preposterousness of his demand.
“Once upon a time, there was a diligent man who had labored throughout his entire life and diligently saved all his earnings.”
He was an extreme miser when it came to his finances. His adoration for money surpassed almost everything else, and just before his passing, he instructed his wife, “Listen carefully, when I die, I want you to place all my money in the casket with me. I intend to take all my wealth to the afterlife.”
Thus, he persuaded his wife to promise him wholeheartedly that she would fulfill this request upon his demise. And one day, he breathed his last.
As he lay in the casket, his wife, dressed in black, sat beside their closest friend. After the ceremony concluded and as the undertakers were about to seal the casket, the wife interjected, saying, “Hold on a moment!”
Clutching a shoebox, she approached the casket and carefully placed it inside. With that, the undertakers sealed the casket and wheeled it away.
Her friend asked, “I hope you didn’t actually put all that money in there with that miserly old man.”
In response, she affirmed, “Yes, I made a promise. As a devout Christian, I can’t lie. I gave my word that I would place that money in the casket with him.”
“Are you saying that you actually placed every single cent of his money in the casket with him?”
“Absolutely”, replied the wife. “I gathered it all, deposited it into my account, and then wrote him a check.”
In such situations, compromises and adaptations between partners are essential. And here’s an intriguing story that exemplifies this concept:
I’m uncertain of their motives, but let me share with you a tale of a widow who made a promise to her avaricious husband to bury him with all his wealth, as it was his earnest dying wish. Quite an interesting character, don’t you think?
Nevertheless, the wife, displaying her integrity, was determined to fulfill her promise, even though she found the situation utterly absurd. Nonetheless, she was determined to find a solution to navigate around the preposterousness of his demand.
“Once upon a time, there was a diligent man who had labored throughout his entire life and diligently saved all his earnings.”
He was an extreme miser when it came to his finances. His adoration for money surpassed almost everything else, and just before his passing, he instructed his wife, “Listen carefully, when I die, I want you to place all my money in the casket with me. I intend to take all my wealth to the afterlife.”
Thus, he persuaded his wife to promise him wholeheartedly that she would fulfill this request upon his demise. And one day, he breathed his last.
As he lay in the casket, his wife, dressed in black, sat beside their closest friend. After the ceremony concluded and as the undertakers were about to seal the casket, the wife interjected, saying, “Hold on a moment!”
Clutching a shoebox, she approached the casket and carefully placed it inside. With that, the undertakers sealed the casket and wheeled it away.
Her friend asked, “I hope you didn’t actually put all that money in there with that miserly old man.”
In response, she affirmed, “Yes, I made a promise. As a devout Christian, I can’t lie. I gave my word that I would place that money in the casket with him.”
“Are you saying that you actually placed every single cent of his money in the casket with him?”
“Absolutely”, replied the wife. “I gathered it all, deposited it into my account, and then wrote him a check.”