🤣 Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
... reality catching up...
... indeed...
OP
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Science groaners!!
****When a photon breaks the law they'll wind up in prism, yes, it's a light sentence, but you can claim it's temporary because they're on the spectrum.
****Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
****A neutron walks in a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender “How much do I owe ya’”? Bartender says “For you, no charge.”
****Photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop comes up and asks “do you have any luggage?”. The photon replies “No, I’m traveling light”. The bell hop says "No matter”.
****A photon goes to a concert. Security says we cannot let you in, it's a mass event.
*****One atom goes to another atom and says:”I’ve lost an electron…” the other atom with a worried face says: “oh dear! how are you feeling…!?!” and he replies:”ah… pretty positive!”
****Two chemists walk into a bar. One orders H2O and the seconds says I’ll have H2O too. He takes a sip and dies.
****When a photon breaks the law they'll wind up in prism, yes, it's a light sentence, but you can claim it's temporary because they're on the spectrum.
****Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
****A neutron walks in a bar and orders a beer. He asks the bartender “How much do I owe ya’”? Bartender says “For you, no charge.”
****Photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop comes up and asks “do you have any luggage?”. The photon replies “No, I’m traveling light”. The bell hop says "No matter”.
****A photon goes to a concert. Security says we cannot let you in, it's a mass event.
*****One atom goes to another atom and says:”I’ve lost an electron…” the other atom with a worried face says: “oh dear! how are you feeling…!?!” and he replies:”ah… pretty positive!”
****Two chemists walk into a bar. One orders H2O and the seconds says I’ll have H2O too. He takes a sip and dies.
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Nah, they've got natural flotation up top.When they hit the water I think natural selection would happen.
Huh, boy, when the Italians cut you off you know you're in trouble. And we were taught that once you were in, you're IN. Nope.
ReSTored
Site Supporter
We were having a family gathering at my daughter's place and sitting in the backyard before firing up the BBQ.
My then 99 year old MIL was there, as was her 97 year old sister. Both have hearing issues, but are as sharp as a tack.
We noticed that 4 or 5 turkey vultures were circling overhead and wondered what that was about.
My grandson says there must be something dead nearby, at which point my MIL turns to her sister and says "Remember to keep moving"
My then 99 year old MIL was there, as was her 97 year old sister. Both have hearing issues, but are as sharp as a tack.
We noticed that 4 or 5 turkey vultures were circling overhead and wondered what that was about.
My grandson says there must be something dead nearby, at which point my MIL turns to her sister and says "Remember to keep moving"
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not going there
... one for you guys to chew on... 
Can't chew on what I can't see..... one for you guys to chew on...
Obo
East Coast Canada
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Three boyhood friends grow up, and each becomes a “ man of the cloth”. So, the Methodist Pastor, the Catholic Priest, and the Jewish Rabbi, are talking, and decide they would test their outdoorsman/ preaching skills over in Bear Woods. Each sets off for a week.
When they meet up, the Pastor is beside himself. “ I was walking down a beautiful path, and the further I walked, the more perfect it became! Suddenly, a big bear jumped in front of me, snarling and such. Dead meat, I thought. However, I started talking and preaching to him. Guess what? He joined my church! Sings in the choir! Is an usher! He is even chairman of the newly founded Wilderness Committee. For a Methodist preacher, well, it doesn't get any better”.
The Catholic Priest starts his tale, and it nearly identical to the first one, the end results being a tad bit different. “ The bear is in catechism class, has his First Communion in 2 weeks! He joined The Knights of Columbus! Confession every week! A member of the St Francis of Assisi Order! Gotta say, it just doesn't get any better than that for a Catholic Priest”!
The Rabbi, head wrapped in a bandage, upper body in a pika cast, says, “ After hearing you guys, well, in retrospect, I probably should not have started with the circumcision”!
When they meet up, the Pastor is beside himself. “ I was walking down a beautiful path, and the further I walked, the more perfect it became! Suddenly, a big bear jumped in front of me, snarling and such. Dead meat, I thought. However, I started talking and preaching to him. Guess what? He joined my church! Sings in the choir! Is an usher! He is even chairman of the newly founded Wilderness Committee. For a Methodist preacher, well, it doesn't get any better”.
The Catholic Priest starts his tale, and it nearly identical to the first one, the end results being a tad bit different. “ The bear is in catechism class, has his First Communion in 2 weeks! He joined The Knights of Columbus! Confession every week! A member of the St Francis of Assisi Order! Gotta say, it just doesn't get any better than that for a Catholic Priest”!
The Rabbi, head wrapped in a bandage, upper body in a pika cast, says, “ After hearing you guys, well, in retrospect, I probably should not have started with the circumcision”!
diferg
Dan & Ingrid
Back in the 60s again.
