🤣 Funny!

"Moses the Parrot"​


A robber was robbing a house and he got this big bag full of loot when all of the sudden he hears this voice "Jesus is watching you" so he thinks nothing of it and keeps going and he hears it again "Jesus is watching you" so he asks "who is saying that?" He replies "Moses the parrot in the corner" the robber then asks "What nut would name his parrot Moses?" The parrot replies "The same Nut that would name his Rottweiler Jesus." And the robber runs out real fast!
 
A man was walking down the street when a scruffy-looking homeless guy asked him for a couple of bucks for dinner.

The man pulled out his wallet and said, **“If I give you this, will you spend it on beer instead of food?”**

**“No, I gave up drinking years ago,”** the homeless man replied.

**“What about gambling?”** the man asked.

**“Nope, never gamble. Every penny counts just to survive.”**

**“Okay… will you spend it on golf instead?”**

The homeless man laughed, **“Are you CRAZY? I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”**

**“Alright, last question—will you blow it on a woman instead of food?”**

The homeless man scoffed, **“What could I even get for ten lousy bucks?!”**

The man smiled and said, **“Well, I’m not giving you the money. Instead, I’m taking you home for a huge homemade dinner from my wife.”**

The homeless man was shocked. **“Won’t she be mad? I mean, I’m dirty, I probably stink…”

The man grinned, **“Nah, she needs to see what happens to a man when he gives up beer, gambling, golf, and women.”**
 
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