Uncle Phil
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I'm not being picky or pickey ... I was just answering a question.Hey I didn't write it, copy and paste.....picky, pickey, pickey
🤣 Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
ReSTored
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OP
OP
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door.
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3 AM.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over.
Then, a louder knock follows.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door.
It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "can you give me a push?"
"No, get lost, it's 3 AM. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk." says the husband.
"It doesn't matter." says the wife.
"He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing."
He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3 AM.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over.
Then, a louder knock follows.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.
So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door.
It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "can you give me a push?"
"No, get lost, it's 3 AM. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk." says the husband.
"It doesn't matter." says the wife.
"He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing."
OP
OP
A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. Their three successful children had all agreed to come over for a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!" gushed son number one, a surgeon. "Sorry I'm running late—I had an emergency at the hospital. You know how it is. I didn’t have time to get you a gift." "Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two, a lawyer, arrived next and said, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn’t have time to shop for you." "It’s nothing," said the father. "We're just glad you could be here."
Finally, the daughter, a marketing executive, arrived. "Hello, and Happy Anniversary! I’m really sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town, and I was busy packing, so I didn’t have time to get you anything." "Don't fret over it, Sweety," said the father. "Just enjoy the day."
After dessert, the father turned to his children and said, "There’s something your mother and I have been meaning to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite that, we were able to send each of you to college. We’ve always loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and said in unison, "You mean we’re all........?" "Yep," said the father, "and cheap ones too!"
"Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!" gushed son number one, a surgeon. "Sorry I'm running late—I had an emergency at the hospital. You know how it is. I didn’t have time to get you a gift." "Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two, a lawyer, arrived next and said, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn’t have time to shop for you." "It’s nothing," said the father. "We're just glad you could be here."
Finally, the daughter, a marketing executive, arrived. "Hello, and Happy Anniversary! I’m really sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town, and I was busy packing, so I didn’t have time to get you anything." "Don't fret over it, Sweety," said the father. "Just enjoy the day."
After dessert, the father turned to his children and said, "There’s something your mother and I have been meaning to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite that, we were able to send each of you to college. We’ve always loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and said in unison, "You mean we’re all........?" "Yep," said the father, "and cheap ones too!"
