STripper
Brian
I did. You weren't there.
🤣 Funny!
- Thread starter docw1
- Start date
I did. You weren't there.
OP
OP
I was eating breakfast with my 10 year old Granddaughter and asked her, What day is Tomorrow.
Without skipping a beat she said "It's presidents day!" She's smart so I asked her "What does Presidents day mean?"
I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush,or Clinton, etc.
She replied "Presidents day is when the President steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bullshit."
You know it hurts when Hot coffee spurts out your nose.
Without skipping a beat she said "It's presidents day!" She's smart so I asked her "What does Presidents day mean?"
I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush,or Clinton, etc.
She replied "Presidents day is when the President steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bullshit."
You know it hurts when Hot coffee spurts out your nose.
diferg
Dan & Ingrid
Sadie Hawkins day! (Li'l Abner for those old enough to remember)
One of my uncles, a man I credited with more sense and critical thinking skills, actually converted a corner of the basement in his small town Kansas home into a fully-stocked fallout shelter.
OP
OP
Happy Valentine's Day y'all!
ReSTored
Site Supporter
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the
city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way worker paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish
office. The United Way guy opened the meeting by saying, 'Our
research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars,
you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to
your community through the United Way?
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also
show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge
medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know
that.
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife
and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died
in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities
requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I
had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes
you think I'd give any to you?
city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way worker paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish
office. The United Way guy opened the meeting by saying, 'Our
research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars,
you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to
your community through the United Way?
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also
show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge
medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know
that.
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife
and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died
in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities
requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I
had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes
you think I'd give any to you?
ST1100Y
Site Supporter
"AI is coming for you job!"
Right...
I'd like to see AI measure three times and still cut it wrong...
Right...
I'd like to see AI measure three times and still cut it wrong...
OP
OP
A man goes into a cafe and sits down. The waitress comes to take his order and he asks her, “What's the special of the day?” She says, “Chili, but the gentleman next to you has got the last bowl.”
The man says he'll just have a coffee and the waitress goes to fetch it.
As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and a bowl of chili remained uneaten. He goes to the man, “Are you going to eat your chili?” Guy said, “Nah, man, help yourself.”
The man picked up the spoon and began eagerly devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of it. Sickened, he puked up all the chili he'd just eaten back into the bowl.
The man sitting next to him goes, “Yeah, that's as far as I got too.”
The man says he'll just have a coffee and the waitress goes to fetch it.
As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and a bowl of chili remained uneaten. He goes to the man, “Are you going to eat your chili?” Guy said, “Nah, man, help yourself.”
The man picked up the spoon and began eagerly devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of it. Sickened, he puked up all the chili he'd just eaten back into the bowl.
The man sitting next to him goes, “Yeah, that's as far as I got too.”