One of my uncles, a man I credited with more sense and critical thinking skills, actually converted a corner of the basement in his small town Kansas home into a fully-stocked fallout shelter.
🤣 Funny!
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One of my uncles, a man I credited with more sense and critical thinking skills, actually converted a corner of the basement in his small town Kansas home into a fully-stocked fallout shelter.
OP
OP
Happy Valentine's Day y'all!
ReSTored
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The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the
city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way worker paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish
office. The United Way guy opened the meeting by saying, 'Our
research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars,
you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to
your community through the United Way?
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also
show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge
medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know
that.
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife
and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died
in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities
requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I
had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes
you think I'd give any to you?
city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way worker paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish
office. The United Way guy opened the meeting by saying, 'Our
research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars,
you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to
your community through the United Way?
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also
show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge
medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know
that.
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife
and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died
in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities
requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I
had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes
you think I'd give any to you?
"AI is coming for you job!"
Right...
I'd like to see AI measure three times and still cut it wrong...
Right...
I'd like to see AI measure three times and still cut it wrong...
OP
OP
A man goes into a cafe and sits down. The waitress comes to take his order and he asks her, “What's the special of the day?” She says, “Chili, but the gentleman next to you has got the last bowl.”
The man says he'll just have a coffee and the waitress goes to fetch it.
As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and a bowl of chili remained uneaten. He goes to the man, “Are you going to eat your chili?” Guy said, “Nah, man, help yourself.”
The man picked up the spoon and began eagerly devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of it. Sickened, he puked up all the chili he'd just eaten back into the bowl.
The man sitting next to him goes, “Yeah, that's as far as I got too.”
The man says he'll just have a coffee and the waitress goes to fetch it.
As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and a bowl of chili remained uneaten. He goes to the man, “Are you going to eat your chili?” Guy said, “Nah, man, help yourself.”
The man picked up the spoon and began eagerly devouring the chili. When he got halfway through the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of it. Sickened, he puked up all the chili he'd just eaten back into the bowl.
The man sitting next to him goes, “Yeah, that's as far as I got too.”
OP
OP
Little Johnny had just failed his law exam, but instead of sulking, he marched straight to his professor’s office with a plan.
Johnny: “Sir, is it true you know everything about law?”
Professor: “Naturally. I’ve been teaching it for over 30 years.”
Johnny: “Perfect. Let’s make a deal. If you can answer my question, I’ll accept my failing grade. But if you can’t… you give me an ‘A.’”
The professor, amused and slightly arrogant, agreed.Professor: “Go ahead. Ask.”Johnny leaned forward with a grin.Johnny: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?”
The professor froze. He thought. He scribbled notes. He paced the room. Hours ticked by, but he couldn’t crack it. Finally, red-faced and defeated, he gave Johnny an “A.”
The next day, still fuming and desperate for answers, the professor posed the riddle to his class.
Professor: “Who can tell me—what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?”
To his surprise, nearly every hand shot up.
He called on one student.
Student: “Sir, you’re 65 years old and married to a 28-year-old woman. That’s legal but not logical. Your wife is having an affair with a 23-year-old man. That’s logical but not legal. And finally… you just gave your wife’s boyfriend an ‘A’ after he failed his exam. That’s neither legal nor logical!”
Johnny: “Sir, is it true you know everything about law?”
Professor: “Naturally. I’ve been teaching it for over 30 years.”
Johnny: “Perfect. Let’s make a deal. If you can answer my question, I’ll accept my failing grade. But if you can’t… you give me an ‘A.’”
The professor, amused and slightly arrogant, agreed.Professor: “Go ahead. Ask.”Johnny leaned forward with a grin.Johnny: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?”
The professor froze. He thought. He scribbled notes. He paced the room. Hours ticked by, but he couldn’t crack it. Finally, red-faced and defeated, he gave Johnny an “A.”
The next day, still fuming and desperate for answers, the professor posed the riddle to his class.
Professor: “Who can tell me—what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?”
To his surprise, nearly every hand shot up.
He called on one student.
Student: “Sir, you’re 65 years old and married to a 28-year-old woman. That’s legal but not logical. Your wife is having an affair with a 23-year-old man. That’s logical but not legal. And finally… you just gave your wife’s boyfriend an ‘A’ after he failed his exam. That’s neither legal nor logical!”
Which people?.....The ones who fell for the ad, of course.
Superdirk
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Me at the gas station : "Do you have a gas-cap for a Skoda ?"
Shop keeper : "Yeah, ok, that seems like a fair deal".
Shop keeper : "Yeah, ok, that seems like a fair deal".
