Some winter humor and fun notes on restorations and mods

mello dude

mello dude

Half genius, half dumazz whackjob foole
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
99
Location
Dayton Ohio
Having done my share of resto’s and from especially from the last recent job, confirms…Mr Murphy was an optimist!
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The unspoken rules.. the Trials and Tribulations for a motorcycle resto project… A treatise of insanity and voice of experience.

  • It will take 4 times as long as you think it will with all the bumps in the road, indecision on a direction on a part, and the “while I’m in there’s”… your doomed.
  • Once you start down the road of bolt replacement, you will find far more problems than anticipated. This is on top of your “while I’m in there’s”. More time suckage.
  • Any OEM parts you need are always backordered 5 weeks… it’s a rule.
  • Too many times during the work as you go, you get to a spot where one stupid OEM part you discover you need that stops you from making progress and you have to order it. Part 2. The more desperately you need the part, the more the chance of the vender will lose the order.
  • Any time you go looking for that locktite you used just yesterday you cant find it, and give up to buy another tube at the auto parts store, only to find the one that was lost in the parts box that you use today. Part 2. This has to happen at least 4x during your project with any sealants or chemicals you are using.
  • You always think of a better way to do something…. right after you complete the step you are working on causing you to tear it back down. Part 2. When there are 6 ways to do something, you waste 2 weeks with your head spinning to figure out a direction.
  • There is always a step on an assembly or part that refuses to go together. Part 2. You have to stop work and get a beer to figure out what the F you are doing.
  • While working a certain area, the notion pops up that if you only had so and so tool, the job would go smoother. But of course you have to go online and immediatly buy that tool. Part 2. And again of course since the dam has a huge crack in the wall now, gives the excuse to go bannanas and buy more tools, just because they're cool.
  • No vendor can do a modification/work/paint exactly the way you want it. You will always be disappointed on some part of the work. (I wanted silver not bronze!)
  • Every project you do kicks in your inner OCD on steroids mode that takes you down separate sidetrack jobs.. the “while I’m in there disease” goes nuclear….
  • You will buy stuff that you think you will use on the project, except that when you get busy with it, the stuff doesn’t work out.
  • You will go bonkers crazy ordering all the parts you need for the job..and too many, you don’t even know you need them until the last minute.
  • You start working on an area and you grab the fasteners off the overzealous organization board you have for all the parts to keep track. Then the moment you need those, you cant find them, and go thoroughly bonkers, but you cant find them… well damn it, out come the OEM fasteners stash and with some digging, you find what you need as replacements. The thing is, the next day, you find the original parts in a hoodie pocket that you were wearing when you started…. You forgot you took the hoodie off in the middle of working on the bike.
  • You will waste a ton of time web searching for the most optimum product you think you need on a specific area of the job.
  • You will also spend hours with a cold one sitting in a favorite lawn chair with bike in view pondering what your next move is.
  • Just about when you are ready to mount a special CNC part you had made, a buddy stops by to take a look at your build progress and looking at your fancy part says, “I bet that would look good anodized red”… well, damn, that did it, you never thought of that. Off to a vendor for an anodize job. More waiting…
  • Several times during the project, you order certain parts, then after the fact you double check whether you really need them, only to discover that you don’t, and panic trying to cancel the parts order.
  • You will reach the burned out stage on the project, way before its near done.
  • Any budget you had for this is blown….well what budget?
And finally, when you have had it and mostly decide to call it done…..
The truth is… It's a rule in a motorcycle project, the project never gets enough kit to call it totally finished!

Cheerz all!
:beer:
 
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When you get all the parts laid out on a towel in the order of assembly and clean. You will hook the end of the towel and scatter parts everywhere.
Blowing out a port will probably get that check ball loose that you did not know was there. You would have known if you read the shop manual first. You just think you saw where it went
Any tool dropped will go to the geographical center of the vehicle you are working on.
Any sharp edge will appear halfway through the sweep of the wrench you are using to turn the nut or bolt.
 
The worst one for me -
When you are down to the last nut/bolt/screw to install you drop it into the ST abyss.
And it is a 'special' one made only by Mother Honda, you have no spares and without it you can't finish the job. ;)
 
Uncle Phil said:
The worst one for me -
When you are down to the last nut/bolt/screw to install you drop it into the ST abyss.
And it is a 'special' one made only by Mother Honda, you have no spares and without it you can't finish the job. ;)
Click to expand...
My Wife came up with a solution for that problem, I now put a old bath towel over the Abyss, I lucked out the Woman is a keeper. G
 
St-Gerard said:
My Wife came up with a solution for that problem, I now put a old bath towel over the Abyss, I lucked out the Woman is a keeper. G
Click to expand...
I do that when I think about it - but then I usually think about it too late ... :doh1:
 
Uncle Phil said:
When you are down to the last nut/bolt/screw to install you drop it into the ST abyss.
And it is a 'special' one made only by Mother Honda, you have no spares and without it you can't finish the job. ;)
Click to expand...
Even more entertaining:
the rubber well-nuts holding the windscreen...
they drop stealthy, without a single noise...
and they fit exactly between fan-blades and radiator-fins...

the whole issue surfaces like days later, when its the first time you're stopped at a red-light, or caught in dense traffic...

Don't ask... for me its however SOP to confirm free rotation of the cooling fan prior leaving the dock... always... ;)
 
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Uncle Phil said:
When you are down to the last nut/bolt/screw to install you drop it into the ST abyss.
And it is a 'special' one made only by Mother Honda, you have no spares and without it you can't finish the job. ;)
Click to expand...
Even more entertaining:
the rubber well-nuts holding the windscreen...
they drop stealthy, without a single noise...
and they fit exactly between the fan-blades and radiator-fins...
the whole issue surfaces like days later, when its the first time you're stopped at a red-light, or caught in dense traffic...

Don't ask... for me its however SOP to confirm free rotation of the cooling fan prior leaving the dock... ;)
 
You see part X or bolt X sitting on the bench. You then realize it should have gone on 11 steps ago. Those 11 steps took about 1 hour 40 minutes to complete. After careful inspection you realize you will now undo all 11 steps, install part or bolt X and do all 11 steps again. But this time because you are familiar with the process it will take closer to 2 hours to reassemble. Note to self, some things do not get better with practice.
 
Donk said:
You see part X or bolt X sitting on the bench. You then realize it should have gone on 11 steps ago. Those 11 steps took about 1 hour 40 minutes to complete. After careful inspection you realize you will now undo all 11 steps, install part or bolt X and do all 11 steps again. But this time because you are familiar with the process it will take closer to 2 hours to reassemble. Note to self, some things do not get better with practice.
Click to expand...
We used to go by somebody elses bench and sneak parts into the lineup, it was especially fun when it was halfway together
 
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