I got the call today

[nicksacco]

My condolences, Dan.
Allow yourself to grieve and be happy for those around you.

 

[Sadlsor]

Very sorry for your loss, Dan.
Praying for God's peace through this difficult time, for you and your family.

 

[Bikeric]

I really don't know why I am posting this other that it seems to give me some comfort talking about it.

I received a call last night that I have been expecting for a very long time. My youngest sister Joan was killed when she was crossing a street in a crosswalk when a driver of a large pickup truck did not see her. She died instantly.

Joannie has been basically homeless for the last 15 years or so and struggled with drug addiction since she was in high school. We were close as young children but not as adults as she became something or someone else fueled by her addiction. I chose not to let her chaotic life and darkness contaminate my life or my family's life after attempting to get her help, which was never taken seriously. I have been expecting a call for a long time with news of her death but strangely she died in a completely unexpected way.

I am oddly numb about her death as we have been disconnected for a long time. I do need to care for her arrangements etc. following her death. I guess the only thing that I keep in my mind is the sadness from such a wasted life that at one time held such promise. The one thing she did for me was to set an example for my three sons regarding what drugs and addiction can do to you. They witnessed what kind of pain her addiction caused not only me but their grandparents. They never touched drugs or alcohol growing up and I believe that this is why.

I can only hope she is at peace now.

Thanks for listening,

Dan

Sorry to hear about your loss, but she knows that you cared for her and tried to help, even though she chose her own path. Remember her as she was, the good times you had as youngsters.

 

[Bulitt]

Sorry you are having to deal with this. Keep your chin up!

 

[Peppermint]

I am deeply saddened by your news, Dan.
I'm yet another who understands addiction all too well and have witnessed its ravages; it's horrible. Alcoholism runs rampant in my family; one of my uncles literally drank himself to death.

May you find strength and peace, knowing that you did all you could.

Patty

 

[okckeith]

Sorry for your loss. Remember the good times you had with her. And she knows that you tried to help her.

 

[Alberto]

Sorry to hear that. my condolences to you and your family..

 

[Sterno]

Please accept our condolences, and may she rest in peace.

 

[v8-7]

Sorry for your loss .
I am sure your good example was more important to your kids development than her bad example..

 

[rdmsttrav]

Sorry for your loss. Losing someone sucks no matter the circumstances. Sending some prayers your way.

 

[bdalameda]

I appreciate all the kind thoughts,thank you.

Dan

 

[Stylo Steve]

I really don't know why I am posting this other that it seems to give me some comfort talking about it.

I received a call last night that I have been expecting for a very long time. My youngest sister Joan was killed when she was crossing a street in a crosswalk when a driver of a large pickup truck did not see her. She died instantly.

Joannie has been basically homeless for the last 15 years or so and struggled with drug addiction since she was in high school. We were close as young children but not as adults as she became something or someone else fueled by her addiction. I chose not to let her chaotic life and darkness contaminate my life or my family's life after attempting to get her help, which was never taken seriously. I have been expecting a call for a long time with news of her death but strangely she died in a completely unexpected way.

I am oddly numb about her death as we have been disconnected for a long time. I do need to care for her arrangements etc. following her death. I guess the only thing that I keep in my mind is the sadness from such a wasted life that at one time held such promise. The one thing she did for me was to set an example for my three sons regarding what drugs and addiction can do to you. They witnessed what kind of pain her addiction caused not only me but their grandparents. They never touched drugs or alcohol growing up and I believe that this is why.

I can only hope she is at peace now.

Thanks for listening,

Dan

God bless your sister Dan and may God bless you too. My brother was a drug addict as well. I tried to help him as well but only got in the way of his habit and it made things worse between us and my family. I will say this and it's one hundred percent true. No one wakes up in the morning and says to themselves that they want to be a drug addict, alcoholic, addicted to food, gambling, or pornography ETC. it just doesn't happen that way. But there is always a root cause and to what made that person become an addict and when you or that person finds out what the root cause is then the journey towards overcoming and healing can begin. My heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[bdalameda]

God bless your sister Dan and may God bless you too. My brother was a drug addict as well. I tried to help him as well but only got in the way of his habit and it made things worse between us and my family. I will say this and it's one hundred percent true. No one wakes up in the morning and says to themselves that they want to be a drug addict, alcoholic, addicted to food, gambling, or pornography ETC. it just doesn't happen that way. But there is always a root cause and to what made that person become an addict and when you or that person finds out what the root cause is then the journey towards overcoming and healing can begin. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Thank you, I feel much the same as you do. The sister I grew up with as a child disappeared many years ago as her addiction took over and the drugs destroyed what was left of her mind, it was if she died a long time ago. As to the root cause your guess is as good as mine, I doubt we will ever know. Some people choose different ways to deal with their pain, some lose themselves to addiction. You can have two people who grow up with the same painful experiences and one will drown themselves in addiction and the other will use the pain to pull themselves up and gain strength from it. Unfortunately for Joanie as much as we tried we could not help her as she just did not want help. I miss the little girl that was my sister.

 

[Stylo Steve]

Thank you, I feel much the same as you do. The sister I grew up with as a child disappeared many years ago as her addiction took over and the drugs destroyed what was left of her mind, it was if she died a long time ago. As to the root cause your guess is as good as mine, I doubt we will ever know. Some people choose different ways to deal with their pain, some lose themselves to addiction. You can have two people who grow up with the same painful experiences and one will drown themselves in addiction and the other will use the pain to pull themselves up and gain strength from it. Unfortunately for Joanie as much as we tried we could not help her as she just did not want help. I miss the little girl that was my sister.

You're a good man Charlie Brown and don't let this take you and your family down a road of sorrow and grief for a long period of time. Your sister suffered for a short walk on this earth but I'm sure that she is with the lord with no sorrows, remorse, regrets, pain, or loneliness. Ultimately she is in the best place she could be in and a place that all of us strive to go to in the future. Remember brother is only a temporary goodby but you'll see her again soon enough in the Lord's house. God bless you and your family and may his grace be with all of you.

 

[MTRider]

I'm so sorry Dan. Sending hugs to you.

 

[ghockey72]

I really don't know why I am posting this other that it seems to give me some comfort talking about it.

I received a call last night that I have been expecting for a very long time. My youngest sister Joan was killed when she was crossing a street in a crosswalk when a driver of a large pickup truck did not see her. She died instantly.

Joannie has been basically homeless for the last 15 years or so and struggled with drug addiction since she was in high school. We were close as young children but not as adults as she became something or someone else fueled by her addiction. I chose not to let her chaotic life and darkness contaminate my life or my family's life after attempting to get her help, which was never taken seriously. I have been expecting a call for a long time with news of her death but strangely she died in a completely unexpected way.

I am oddly numb about her death as we have been disconnected for a long time. I do need to care for her arrangements etc. following her death. I guess the only thing that I keep in my mind is the sadness from such a wasted life that at one time held such promise. The one thing she did for me was to set an example for my three sons regarding what drugs and addiction can do to you. They witnessed what kind of pain her addiction caused not only me but their grandparents. They never touched drugs or alcohol growing up and I believe that this is why.

I can only hope she is at peace now.

Thanks for listening,

Dan

Thank you for sharing this, it takes so much strength to have self care and walk away rather than be stuck in some co-dependent unhealthy relationship. Take away the great lessons learned which seem to be have been learned by your own children. Hang in there

 

[sherob]

Dan,

As a few have posted, we know and have felt the sadness you feel now. My younger brother was a Sr in HS when he took his life. He was a very gifted and talented musician! If it had strings or valves, anything, it was a cake walk for him to play. He played and played... was in band throughout middle school and high school.

He had his demons, and no matter how many times I tried to talk to him, to reach in to his depression and pull him out, it was only a temporary fix. His second suicide attempt was his final. Depression wasn't treated or looked upon in the early 1980's like it is today, I wish it was.

Time heals wounds, but it doesn't help you forget. There's always someone to talk to... there's always someone that will listen. Things are much different now.

I wish and hope you and yours the best going forward!
Rob

 

[Pop-Pop]

Apparently, your heart is not frozen over your sister. You are writing about it. R.I.P. and the best to you and your family.

 

[Erdoc48]

Very sorry to hear…my wife’s brother died ~ 10 years ago due to heroin (died in his apartment from an OD)- she was not estranged from him at the time, but was quite angry about how he essentially threw his gift of life away (and he hid it quite well- had issues in the past and it was thought he cleaned up his act). It’s tough to watch as someone destroys their life, whether you’re close or not.