🤣 Funny!

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, ‘Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane’
The farmer said, ‘Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.’
The old lady suggested, ‘Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand’
‘Why thank you very much,’ he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says ‘Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.’
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, ‘I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?’
The farmer said, ‘Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?’
The old lady replied…… ‘Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.
 
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asked why he became a right winger, "I see nothing"
 
A wife decides to take her husband James to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, hey James, how you doing?

His wife's puzzled and asks if he's been to the club before. Oh no, says James, he's on my bowling team.

When they were seated, a waitress asked James if he'd like his usual and brings him over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, how did she know that you drink Budweiser? Oh, she's in the ladies bowling league, honey. We share lanes with them.

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around James, and says, hi, James. Want your usual table dance, big boy?

James's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. James follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She's screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabbie turns around and says, Looks like you've picked up a real b**** tonight, James.
 
I took 120 year-old Damascus barrel
breech-loading shotgun
(made for 2.5 inch chamber black powder shells)
to a gun store that specialized in antiques.

I said, "Can you check out this Civil War shotgun for me and tell me what you think?"



The old guy who ran the shop and did all the gunsmithing took it, broke the action open and said
"Son let me tell you something about the age of this shotgun --it is absolutely not from the Civil War."

I replied,
"oh, I didn't mean the last Civil War;
I meant the NEXT civil war !IMG_4295.jpeg
 
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