🤣 Funny!

[SMSW]

Two friends are catfishing in a river in the piney woods of Deep East Texas when a game warden walks up on them and asks to see their fishing licenses. Well, one of them takes off running like a scalded dog and the game warden takes off after him in hot pursuit. The chase goes on for half an hour through briars, brambles, nettle, sloughs and every such thing you can think of.

Finally, the fisherman stops and the game warden catches up to him. They’re both standing there bent over with their hands on their knees, huffing and puffing. The fisherman reaches in his pocket and pulls out his fishing license, holds it out to the game warden and says,”You wanted to see this?” The game warden is stunned and asks, “If you have a license, why the heck did you run?” The fisherman says, “‘Cause my buddy doesn’t have one.”

 

[SMSW]

A man with two buckets of fish was leaving Galveston beach well known for its fishing and was stopped by a game warden. The warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish.”

"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.

"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to this beach and let them swim around for about a half-hour, When I whistle, they all come back, jump back into my buckets, and I take 'em home. We do this every night."

"That's a bunch of hooey," said the warden. "Fish can't do that!"

"No, really! says the man. "Here, I'll show you." And he releases the fish in the ocean.

"Well, I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.

The man and the warden stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" the man asked.

"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden huffs.

"Call who back?" the man asked.

"The FISH."

"What fish?"

 

[docw1]

 

[JetRanger]

 

[Larry Fine]

 

[Fawlty]

 

[Larry Fine]

 

[docw1]

A man buys the fastest and most expensive bike on the market—a 2024 Turbo Zoomer, priced at $500,000. It’s sleek, powerful, and can hit speeds of up to 320 miles per hour.


One day, while stopped at a red light, an old man on a rusty bicycle, looking like he’s at least 90, pulls up next to him. The old man glances at the bike and says, “That’s a fancy ride you got there, young man. What’s it called?”


The biker replies, “It’s a Turbo Zoomer. Cost me half a million dollars!”


“Half a million?!” exclaims the old man. “Why’s it so expensive?”


“Well,” says the biker, “because it can go faster than anything else—320 miles per hour!”


The old man, curious, asks, “Mind if I take a closer look?”


“Sure,” the biker says proudly.


The old man leans in, checks out the details, and nods in admiration. “Nice bike,” he says, before pedaling off.

When the light turns green, the biker decides to show off. He revs the engine and speeds away, hitting 320 mph in no time. But then, in his rearview mirror, he spots a tiny dot gaining on him.

**Whoooooosh!** Something zips past him, going even faster!

“What was that?” he wonders, astonished.

Moments later, he sees the dot coming back toward him. **Whooooosh!** It flies by again!

Finally, he sees the dot once more in his rearview mirror, but this time it’s heading straight for him. **CRASH!** The impact sends him skidding to a stop.

When he looks back, he sees the old man and his bicycle tangled in the wreckage. The biker rushes over and asks, “Are you okay? Can I help you?”

The old man, groaning in pain, looks up and says, “Yeah... could you unhook my suspenders from your handlebars?”

 

[Fawlty]

 

[SMSW]

 

[SMSW]

 

[SMSW]

 

[SMSW]

 

[Pop-Pop]

 

[Bozo]

Please like and share this post.

 

[MaxPete]

 

[MaxPete]

And now, from the "Oh dear me" department.....

 

[MaxPete]

 

[STripper]

View attachment 350098

 

[MaxPete]

No toolbox is complete without one of these....